Darkness Does Not Become Him
by Mimi621
Summary: When the Rage takes over, it forces Yuya to do something terrible to his best friend. He has no memory of the incident. Yuzu doesn't want Yuya to blame himself for something he had no control over. Still. It happened, and now Yuzu has to come to terms with it on her own.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

This isn't Yuya. She knows it isn't.

This isn't your best friend, Yuzu keeps telling herself. This isn't Yuya.

"You're not Yuya!" She screams at the monster on top of her. She gets no response from this creature. They just continue on with their evil deed.

Continues to slowly tear her to pieces.

"Bring back my friend!" Yuzu shouts.

He still doesn't hear her.

"Please… Yuya. Come back." Yuzu cries quietly.

With every movement this creature makes, Yuzu stifles a cry of pain.

This isn't Yuya.

She can never forget that one important fact. She knows he would never hurt her. She knows that this isn't him hurting her now. It's something else. Anything else. It's just not Yuya.

Yuzu can't help the cry of agony that escapes her lips. She's never felt this kind of pain before.

It's finally over.

This… this monster is finished. The burning lingers but the worst of the pain has passed. That awful pressure inside her is gone.

Yuzu feels his weight lifted from her body but still feels so incredibly heavy. Her vision is blurred by tears but also intense dizziness.

No, not yet. Don't pass out yet.

She hears him breathing behind her.

With her quickly dwindling strength, Yuzu moves to a sitting position and faces her attacker. It hurts to sit like this, but she feels she can withstand the pain a little longer. He's ignored her thus far but he will hear what she has to say. How dare this entity possess her best friend. How dare it force Yuya to commit such a terrible act. She's going to give this thing a piece of her mind.

Wait.

His eyes.

They no longer glow with malice and hatred.

The thing that hurt her is gone.

Yuya is back.

Yuzu breathes a sigh of instant relief.

It's gone. It's over. Your friend is back now.

She notices that he is still very out of breath and seems barely conscious. Yuzu has heard from Gongenzaka how exhausted these fits of rage have left Yuya in the past. They can't both pass out. She has to be strong enough for both of them right now. She pulls up her underwear and adjusts her skirt and socks so the blood and bruises don't show as much.

"Yuya? Yuya, are you alright?" She slowly approaches her good friend. Her body screams with every move she makes. It takes everything she has left to stifle the pained groans.

Yuzu tries again to get his attention. "Yuya? Can you hear me?"

The young redhead starts to cry and places his head in his hands.

"Hey, Yuya." Yuzu whispers as she takes her friend into her arms. "It's gonna be alright. You're okay now." Even now as she touches him, she already feels the stark differences. The monster that hurt her feels nothing like the crying boy in her arms. He's so warm and full of love. That thing was cold and heartless. They're practically opposites.

"Yuzu?" He has finally stopped crying. "I didn't hurt anybody, did I?"

All Yuya knows is that he blacked out. He can never remember anything that happens during these episodes. And he never remembers what he's done or who he might have hurt. "Did I do anything bad?"

Yuzu hesitates with her answer. You fool, you know the answer is no. Yuya didn't do anything. It was the rage. Yuya and the rage deep inside him are not the same. The rage merely uses him as a vessel. He's just as much a victim as she is.

"No, of course not. My dad took the kids for ice cream before dropping them off at home. I found you on the floor just now." She knows her explanation has holes in it, but she hopes it'll suffice for now.

"So they didn't see me like that? Ayu Chan and Tatsuya and Futoshi kun… They didn't see any of this did they?" He sounds so ashamed of himself. "Did you?" He asks.

"No. Nobody saw anything. You basically just threw a tantrum until you exhausted yourself. You big baby." Yuzu teases as she attempts to lighten the mood.

Yuya looks up at her. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying." Yuzu defends.

"Yuzu, what happened to your neck?" Yuya is worried. Did she lie just so he wouldn't feel bad? Has he done something terrible and she just won't say? "Yuzu? Is that a… Did I bite you?!" He sounds disgusted as he places his hand over his mouth. He's bitten people before and never had any memory of doing such a thing. He wouldn't be surprised if it happened again.

"It's nothing, Yuya." She turns her head so the area of focus on her neck is hidden from view.

"Yuzu…" Yuya doesn't complete his thought. When Yuzu looks at him again his eyes are closed and his breathing is deep and even. He's finally passed out.

"It wasn't you. So don't worry about it." She whispers to him.

Yuzu notices that his pants are still unzipped and he's very exposed. Yuya definitely wasn't fully conscious or he would have noticed something like that. She's glad he didn't. There wouldn't have been any way for her to explain that.

Careful not to wake him, Yuzu zips her friends pants, and buckles his belt. For a reason she doesn't even know, the noise his belt makes causes her to cringe and even whimper.

With the remainder of her strength she carries/drags Yuya to the lounge couch. Her body is shouting at her to stop. Everything hurts. Everything below her belly button is on fire.

When Yuya is settled on the couch, Yuzu practically collapses on the floor. She leans her back on the side of the couch and takes a loud deep breath.

She's established that it wasn't him.

That doesn't mean it didn't happen.

She was raped.

Something was inside of her. She can't escape that terrible feeling. It won't go away.

It burned.

It burned.

It. Burned.

The monster was rough, merciless, and angry- everything her best friend isn't.

For some reason- that reason probably being her age- she never imagined it being so painful. Yuzu always thought it was something that people enjoyed but this was also something she rarely ever thought about. She never knew what to expect but didn't really consider how it would feel because of the ever common "when I'm older" deal. She was forced to face reality a lot sooner than anticipated and she did not like what she saw: Pure rage.

Also unforeseen; although it burned, Yuzu felt so incredibly cold. His fingers were like icicles as they touched her. Every time he moved inside her, a bit of her froze. That kept happening until her whole body felt like it had frozen solid. A chill runs down her spine. It's over. You're okay now. Yuya is back.

Yuya won't hurt you… Again.

No! Not again. He never has. Yuya will never hurt you.

It wasn't him and she knows this. She can't allow herself for even a small second to say that Yuya did this.

Because eventually, she'll believe it to be true.

Yuzu recalls- there's bound to be blood on her clothes. Blood running down her legs. People would see that. She can't let anyone see this.

Yuzu struggles at first but manages to get on her feet. The walk to the you-show locker room is usually a good two minutes. It's takes her ten. She has to lean on every wall on her way there as she no longer has the strength to stand on her own. Everything hurts. Her body wants to die. When she finally reaches her locker, Yuzu is ever thankful that she has exactly what she needs for once- a change of underwear and another skirt. Her weird habit of always having spare underwear handy finally became useful.

She grabs the bar of soap that she keeps for the rare times that she showers at you-show. Yuzu limps over to the sink area. Her reflection looks so pained. She resembles a wounded animal.

Yuzu removes her skirt and her underwear and her reflection does the same. Even though she's alone, she finds it necessary to hide her reaction when she sees the blood. The bruises. Yuzu didn't even know that this part of her body could cause her this much pain. She didn't know someone would be able to fight their way inside her through her bottom. Just the thought is embarrassing but also just… So confusing. There's so much she didn't know.

Yuzu gently scrubs away the dried blood as she stifles her cries of pain. It even hurts to just touch her sore backside. She makes sure that she washes away any blood that managed to curl around her thighs and knees. Afterwards, Yuzu pats herself dry with her towel. Even that hurts.

After changing her clothes, Yuzu searches for a bandage for her neck. She doesn't want anyone to see that bite. Once all the evidence of what happened is hidden, Yuzu makes the long journey back to the lounge. Yuya is still sound asleep on the couch. She sits on the floor next to the couch and leans on its edge once again.

Yuzu can't even bring her knees to her chest. All she can do is push herself off the couch so she can lie flat on the floor. When the pain rushes to her head she shifts onto her stomach.

She lays on the floor next to the couch and lets herself cry.

Shuzo finds the two both passed out in the lounge hours later. He can tell his daughter has been crying. After many failed attempts to wake them, he gives up. They must be exhausted. That's not new. The only thing he can't understand is why Yuya would take the couch. The Yuya he knows would have let Yuzu take the couch instead of letting her sleep on the floor. Maybe he'll get an explanation later after they've both had their rest.

He calls Yoko to let her know he'll be dropping Yuya off soon, and that he's sleeping like a rock.

Neither child wakes throughout all of this.


	2. Chapter 2

I've decided to update twice a week instead of just once. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

* * *

"Yuzu! Wake up!" Shuzo gently shakes his daughter by her shoulders. Yuzu jolts awake and backs away from the shadowy figure in front of her. "Hey, it's alright. It's Otosan." He tells her. "You were having a nightmare."

"I was?" Yuzu touches her face and isn't surprised to find it wet with tears. "Did I wake you, Otosan? I'm sorry if I worried you, go back to bed." Yuzu wipes her tears and tries to lie back down. Her body is still aching beyond belief and try as she might she can't hide the groan of pain that escapes her lips.

"Sweetheart, tell me what's bothering you. Are you feeling alright?" He places the back of his hand on her forehead.

"I'm fine Otosan, just very tired." She just wants him to leave.

"Are you worried about Yuya?"

Her heart skips a beat.

She instantly shakes her head. "No. Why would I be worried about him?" She speaks quickly to hide her rising panic.

"I heard you calling out to him right before I woke you. You kept saying, 'not Yuya'."

"I was?" She covers her mouth with her hand.

"Want to talk about it?" He's so worried. Yuzu sounded terrified, as though she were suffering. He hates hearing his little girl like that.

"Actually, Otosan, I don't remember the dream anymore." Yuzu confesses. "I think I'll just try to go back to sleep." She says quietly.

Shuzo realizes whatever was bothering her will remain private for now.

"Alright then. If you need anything at all, let me know." He puts the comforter over her.

"Thanks, Otosan. Goodnight." Yuzu mumbles.

Early the next morning, Yuzu wakes with the feeling of lead in her stomach. Her legs feel like they've been crushed and worst of all, her backside is even more sore than it was yesterday.

Yuzu musters up the strength to get out of bed. She spends an hour pacing in her bedroom to find a way to hide her funny walk. The pain in her whole lower body has caused her to develop an unsightly limp. She can't have people asking questions-questions she hasn't yet made up answers for.

"Breakfast!" Her Otosan announces from downstairs. Just the thought of food makes Yuzu nauseous. She can't even imagine herself eating right now. It makes her feel worse than she already does.

"Not hungry, Otosan!" Yuzu calls down. "I'm getting in the shower!" She knows he won't disturb her there. If she takes long enough, maybe he'll head off to You-Show and she can avoid further conversation with him.

Yuzu hobbles down the hall to the linen closet to retrieve a towel for herself. She then locks herself in the bathroom.

When she strips down, she gets a look at the visible damage on her body.

The backs of both her thighs look very beat up. The bruises don't even look like they should be there. They weren't there yesterday. She doesn't know how that could have happened. Yuzu remembers however that as younger children whenever she and Yuya were playing and would hurt themselves, that sometimes the bruises would show up immediately or the next day. It always depended on the severity of the injury.

It makes sense why only the bruises on her bottom were visible yesterday.

There's a single dark purple bruise in the center of her lower back. Simply thinking about it makes it hurt more. She would rather have taken a worse beating if it meant he wouldn't have hit her back the way he did. It was the only blow to her body that radiated throughout- aside from the actual assault.

There are bruises in the shape of hands on her hips. This, she remembers. After it was clear she would no longer fight, the monster removed his hand from her mouth and grabbed her hips. It hurt so much more than she thought it could. It didn't make sense how strong he was. She knows Yuya's capabilities. Yesterday went beyond what he was mentally and physically capable of in every way.

Lastly, Yuzu observes her neck. She removes the bandage to reveal a prominent, red, angry looking bite mark. Oh no… she thinks. Yuya saw this. He saw this bite mark. He asked about it. Yuzu got lucky because he passed out. She prays he doesn't remember. It was his mouth that did the biting, even though he never made such a choice to bite her.

Yuzu carefully steps in the shower and makes the water as hot as it can be. It's not comfortable in the slightest, but anything cooler than this makes her feel like the horrors from yesterday won't wash away. The hot water might be able to burn away some of the evil that's still covering her body.

She scrubs her skin from head to toe until it's raw and tingly, and then proceeds to sit in the tub with the scalding water hitting the top of her head. She sits and sobs until the flowing water runs ice cold… and then she sits and shivers a little while longer.

Yuzu still feels incredibly filthy when she steps out of the shower, despite having bathed for at least an hour and using up more than half the bottle of body wash.

Yuzu wraps her towel around her shoulders as chills run down her thin frame.

Just as she had hoped, her father has left for You-Show already.

Upon returning to her room, Yuzu notices that she has a missed call from Yuya.

She sends him a text.

 _Yuzu: Hey, what's up?_

 _Yuya: Where are you? Class is about to start and even I'm here on time today._

 _Yuzu: Not feeling very well. Can you email me the homework, please?_

 _Yuya: Everything okay? Want me to stop by?_

 _Yuzu: No, I think it's contagious. Just tell my dad that I stayed home when you see him, please._

 _Yuya: I will, no problem. Feel better, Yuzu!_

 _Yuzu: Thanks, Yuya. Now pay attention!_

 _Yuya: ) no promises hahaha_

So he doesn't remember.

Good.

She prays he never finds out. It would crush her if he did. He can never know what happened. What this rage made him do.

"He can never know." Yuzu finds herself speaking aloud.

After getting dressed, Yuzu heads down to the kitchen.

The only thing that doesn't make her feel like vomiting is water. But she knows that isn't enough. Yuzu makes herself some toast and nibbles on that, trying hard not to taste it. She manages to eat about half before giving up. It's just too much. She can't handle it. She washes the taste out of her mouth with more water.

When she really needs food, her body will allow her to eat. Just not now.

Yuzu moves to the living room. She takes one of the plush pillows from the corner of the room and places it on the couch. She still can't sit without feeling immense pain. The pillow makes it bearable. She grabs a blanket and wraps it around herself. When that's not enough she goes to get another. 4 blankets later Yuzu feels better. She feels protected. Nothing bad can get through these layers of warmth. She's safe.

Yuzu sits in complete and utter silence for hours. Not thinking of anything except the warmth.

Then something comes to mind.

She can't hide her injuries. Even after all her attempts to walk and sit and feel normal she just can't do it. The idea hits her. An accident would explain it all.

A fall down the stairs ought to do it. It would explain the limp at least.

It takes her at least a half an hour to untangle herself from the blankets. There are goosebumps on her skin as she sheds the last blanket. She groans in pain as she moves to stand. It's almost time for Otosan to return. She needs to get a fresh bandage for her neck, but recalls that the only ones are in the upstairs bathroom.

Yuzu takes her time making her way up the stairs. She's trying to catch her breath by the time she reaches the top. This hurts.

Yuzu doesn't have time to register the lightheadedness until it's too late. By the time she falls backward she can't catch or hold on to anything. She tumbles and rolls down the stairs, feeling new bruises and aches form on her body instantly.

So in actuality, Yuzu did fall down the stairs completely by accident.

She hits the bottom of the stairs with an ugly thud. The pain has grown to a level where she can't even cry because of it. It's pain beyond tears. Yuzu feels consciousness slipping away. No. This wasn't part of the plan. Stay awake. Not now. She can't….

Darkness takes her.

* * *

"Yuzu!"

"Yuzu!"

"Oh my god, she won't wake! Yuzu, honey, please!"

"Call an ambulance… Quickly!"


	3. Chapter 3

This chapter is a little longer, lot more going on.

Thanks again for reading. I'll update again on Tuesday!

A very special thanks to crisrrana75 for the first review I've ever gotten on the first fic I've ever posted.

This chapter is for you :)

* * *

Yuzu wakes to the sound of rhythmic beeping. It's somewhat dim when her eyes finally focus.

This bed isn't hers. This room isn't hers. Where is she? "What… What happened?" Her voice is so weak.

When she tries to sit up she cries out in pain. Her lower back still hurts like crazy.

Someone near her gasps and rushes over to her.

"Yuzu? Are you alright?" It's Yuya, and he sounds worried.

"Yuya… What happened? Where am I?" She can barely raise her voice above a whisper.

"You're in the hospital, Yuzu. I came home with your dad to give you the homework." His voice cracks. "We found you passed out at the bottom of the stairs."

"Really?" She barely remembers the events from earlier.

"They said you probably fell down the stairs. Yuzu, I was so worried about you." He gently takes her hand. Yuzu's entire body tenses at his touch and she draws in a sharp breath.

"I'm so sorry. Does that hurt?" Yuya pulls away, genuinely concerned.

"No, no it's alright. I guess I'm still on edge from the fall," Yuzu explains. She doesn't know why she had such a strong reaction. She's angry with herself for worrying him. He's never been the problem. He's still not.

"Where's Otosan?" Yuzu wonders.

"He's talking to the doctor. He was really worried about you, Yuzu. They almost sedated him when we got here because he couldn't calm down. He was too nervous to come in here… I think he just didn't want to see you in any pain." Yuya explains. "It was really hard seeing you hurt, but I knew I had to be there for you." He attempts again to take her hand and is all the more gentle than before. Yuzu has always found such a strange comfort in Yuya. By now she's learned not to question it.

"Thanks, Yuya. I hope you weren't too worried."

"Well not anymore!" He smiles. "Now that you're awake."

Yuzu just returns the smile.

"How are you feeling, are you hungry?"

"Very sore…" Yuzu frowns. "And no, just thirsty."

"I'll go get you some water." Yuya slowly releases her hand and runs out the door.

Shuzo is sitting on the floor right outside Yuzu's hospital room, his head in his hands.

"Principal! Is everything okay? What'd the doctors tell you?" Yuya crouches in front of him.

"My little girl…. She's my little girl." Yuya can hear Shuzo crying.

"Principal, is- is everything alright?"

"Yuya… Someone hurt my little girl."

"What? I thought she just fell. What do you mean?" Yuya feels his heart racing. What else could have happened to Yuzu?

"They found… They found bruises on her body that didn't come from the fall. They said it's possible she might have been…" Shuzo resumes his sobbing.

"Principal?" Yuya is terrified at finding out the end of that sentence.

"Yuzu might have been sexually assaulted…" Shuzo reveals. "They wanted to wait for more of her strength to return before running more tests."

Yuya feels his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. So much is going through his mind. When did this happen? Who could have done such a terrible thing to Yuzu? She's so kind and fun and caring… Who would want to hurt her?

"What? Are you sure?" Yuya feels like he can't breathe.

"They're positive it didn't happen in the fall. The bruises are at least a day old."

"So this just happened?"

"Apparently! And I had no idea my little girl was suffering."

Yesterday? But yesterday they were together. They spent the whole Sunday at You-Show practicing their dueling. When could this have happened?

Then it occurs to him.

He lost a few hours yesterday.

Oh. No.

Could he have been the one to do this to her?

Just the thought of harming one pink hair on her head is enough to make Yuya feel sick.

"My little girl…" Shuzo cries quietly. "I'm sorry I didn't protect you."

Yuya feels the world around him moving in slow motion. This rage that he can't control… This darkness inside of him. What if it's made him do something awful?

He goes to get her water like he promised. When Yuya returns to her room he resists the urge to break down in tears. She's lying here in pain because of what he might have done to her.

Yet, when he walks in, she smiles.

She smiles at him.

"Thanks, Yuya." She still sounds so weak as she takes the styrofoam cup from him.

"Yuya? You look upset? What's wrong?" How could she still be concerned about him? How could she stand to be anywhere near him?

"Yuzu…" He feels nausea settling in the pit of his stomach. "I'm going to ask you something. Please… Please tell me the truth."

"Yuya? What's going on?" Yuzu regains some feeling and tries to sit up slightly.

"Don't strain yourself." Yuya gently pushes her back down.

"Yuzu…" He sounds like he's going to cry. "Did I hurt you yesterday?"

"Yuya?"

"Please. Be honest with me. I need to know." Tears are running down his face. "Yuzu did I do something terrible to you?"

"Help me sit up." Yuzu requests. Yuya slowly obliges. It feels wrong to touch her, even if it's to help her. He sets her cup of water on her bedside table and supports her as she moves to a sitting position. Every groan of pain she tries to hide causes Yuya's guilt to strike him in the center of his chest.

"Yuzu-"

"Listen to me." Yuzu puts her finger to his lips. "I want you to stop this right now." She orders Yuya.

"What aren't you telling me?" Yuya cries. "Yuzu, forget about my feelings and worry about yourself for once!" He yells at her. "What happened when I blacked out!?"

"I don't know, Yuya." Yuzu admits.

"I told you, don't-"

"Yuya, I left with the others. You were alone the whole time. You didn't hurt me." She places a comforting hand on his cheek.

"Yuzu…" His eyes are still full of tears.

"Yuya, you didn't hurt anyone. You could never do such a thing. Don't beat yourself up over this. It has nothing to do with you."

"So, I didn't hurt you at all? You're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." Yuzu smiles. She's getting through to him with her hideous lies. Thank God. "I found you after it had passed. By then you were barely conscious. You know I'd have gotten my revenge on you already if you'd hurt me."

He takes her hand in his. "You don't know how relieved I am. I couldn't live with myself if I had done something to hurt you." Yuya confesses.

"If you're relieved then stop crying." Yuzu hates seeing her best friend in such distress.

"Yuzu, someone still did something terrible to you."

"But I'm okay now. I'm safe here with you, right?" Yuzu asks.

"Of course!" He doesn't hesitate. "I wasn't there when you needed me, but I hope I can make up for that."

"Absolutely. You're doing it right now as you keep me company." Yuzu wipes the last of his tears. "Don't cry, Yuya. It's okay."

"I just can't believe it. How could this have happened?" He wonders.

Yuzu sighs. "I didn't want any ice cream so I told my dad to go ahead with the others. I was wandering around and I guess I wasn't paying attention. I found myself in the shadier area of town." Yuzu has to make this up as she goes. But she knows by now that Yuya will believe her. She's convinced him that he's not involved and that's all that matters.

"I never saw who it was. He pulled me into an alley and told me if I screamed he'd stab me. After it…" She swallows. "After it happened I just went back to You-Show. You had just calmed down, so I helped you get to the couch so you could rest and then I guess I fell asleep too."

"Yuzu… I'm so sorry." Yuya gently squeezes her hand. "You didn't deserve this. It's so unfair."

"It is unfair, Yuya." She agrees. "But it's over now. I just have to be more careful."

"You shouldn't have to be." Yuya frowns. "That's what's so upsetting."

"I guess." She sees why he's upset, but can't really relate. This situation is in a class of its own but only Yuzu will ever know that. "You know it's not a perfect world, Yuya. There are simply ways to live with all this… Stuff." Wow… Here she is helping someone else to understand _her_ rape. Not a perfect world? No kidding.

"I wish I could help." He sounds so lost.

"You know one way you could help?" Yuzu offers.

"What?"

"The juniors."

"Um… Sorry not following."

"I know you already care about them, but I just want you to promise me that you'll always protect them. I would hate to see if something like this happened to Ayu chan."

Yuya's eyes shut as terrifying thoughts of the juniors in pain at the hands of someone else.

It's hard enough being here and seeing Yuzu like this. He can't even imagine what he'd do, or how he'd feel if anything bad had happened to them.

It's literally the worst thing he can think of, even including his best friend lying in front of him in pain.

"Yuya? Hey, welcome back."

He didn't realize he was practically squeezing the life out of her hand.

"Sorry." Yuya says quickly. "I was distracted."

"No no, don't be. I'm sorry if what I said upset you in anyway. I know you, Yuya, and I know how much the juniors mean to you. I didn't want to put any bad thoughts into your mind. But… I just… I don't want you to see them get hurt like I was."

She's hoping that she reaches the rage inside him as well. She's begging and pleading that she is the farthest it will go in terms of his friends. Yuzu can handle herself. She can figure this out… Somehow. But those juniors are so young, so innocent. It breaks her heart just thinking about it.

"I promise, I'll always protect them." Yuya swears. "And although I should _always_ have been doing this, I promise to look out for you too, Yuzu."

"Thanks, Yuya." Thank you, Rage. Please if you hurt anyone hurt me. Not those juniors. Please. Don't make Yuya do it.

"I'll be there for you every step of the way." Yuya plants a soft kiss on her hand. "If you need anything, just let me know."

"Actually, there is something." Yuzu starts. "I'm very cold." She admits.

"Oh, I'll go get you another blanket." He releases her hand, but Yuzu grabs hold again.

"No!" She didn't mean to yell. "No, don't leave. I… I don't want to be alone. Can you just lay with me?" Her eyes are pleading.

Yuya's cheeks burn bright crimson. "Uh… sure, Yuzu." He clears his throat. "Of course." He says with more assurance.

After removing his shoes and placing his jacket over her shoulders, Yuya slides next to Yuzu. He places his arms around her and lets her rest her head on his chest.

"Thank you, Yuya. I feel so much better now." Yuzu says quietly. "So much better."

It seems her lies were so strong even she believed them.

Yuzu can't see them as lies though. They technically aren't.

She was thrown around, she was told not to scream, she was beaten, and she was raped. In the end, none of that was Yuya. So it doesn't matter if she tweaked the story a bit. Yuzu sees a big difference between her friend, and the darkness in his soul. Yuya does not. If she told him that this darkness made him do this to her, the consequences could be dire. Yuya would blame himself. He would hate himself. And Yuzu can't let that happen.

In a way, she didn't lie at all. She told him he never hurt her- and he didn't. That is all that matters. All that is important.

Yuzu feels safe as she lies in Yuya's warm and extremely comforting embrace. There's no way she could feel this secure if he had been the one to hurt her. His touch is gentle, his skin is soft, his heartbeat is strong, and his words are kind. All of this makes Yuzu feel so at peace.

"Thank you." She mumbles one last time before drifting off to sleep again.

* * *

The next morning, Yuzu sends Yuya home to rest and to let everyone else know that she's doing well. She spends the first half of her day dealing with the hospital's forensic nurses and staff along with the counselor she's been assigned. She hates every second of it.

"You'll feel some pressure."

"Just going to take a few pictures."

"Lie back. This might be cold."

"How are you?"

"Almost done, one more."

She blocks most of it out. It all just makes her feel miserable and inhuman. Yuzu would rather be left alone. When all the poking and prodding is finally done, Yuzu's counselor is the only one left.

"I'm just going to explain your options going forward." She's been so kind, and Yuzu almost regrets how cold she's been toward the counselor.

"Um…" Yuzu cuts in. "I kinda just want this all to go away." She mumbles.

"I understand. That was my first point. You don't have to pursue this further if you don't want to. It can all end here."

"I just want to move on." Yuzu replies.

"Of course. Sometimes this is the better road for victims to take, depending on their circumstances. Just remember you have a strong support system here at the hospital as well as your friends and family."

"I know." Yuzu nods. She doesn't completely agree with the counselor. If her situation were different, Yuzu imagines that she would press charges and try to put the evil bastard away. Yuzu would hate to let someone get away with such an evil crime. Since things happened the way they did, she knows her choices will be very different. She wouldn't want to put Yuya away for something he technically didn't do.

The counselor explains a few more things to Yuzu basically about life going forward. She only listens to about half of it before zoning out. She feels so cold. So alone. She wants to go home and get into bed. She wants time to attempt to organize her racing thoughts. The more these people talk about this the harder it is for her to forget what happened. If she can't forget what happened, that makes it harder for her to be around Yuya. She doesn't want that to keep happening. She doesn't want to blame him for something that isn't his fault. She wants to feel like she did last night- safe and at peace with Yuya right beside her. The more they force her to think about the gruesome attack, the harder it is for Yuzu to see Yuya for who he really is; her best friend. The dark glowing red eyes stare at her with malicious intent. The cruel voice yells at her to stay quiet. A rough hand covers her mouth when she can't contain her screams of pain.

The young girl's eyes glaze over with fear. The pace of her breathing quickens as she feels panic and anxiety grip her system.

"Yuzu? Sweetheart, are you feeling alright?" The counselor wakes her from the awful daydream. Yuzu manages to calm down before the panic takes a complete hold of her.

"I'm sorry." She breathes.

"Don't apologize. Are you alright?"

Yuzu shakes her head. "I want to go home. I keep thinking about what happened and it's making me feel even worse. Please, can I go home?" Her voice is a quiet whimper as she attempts to speak. "I just want Otosan." She pouts.

"Of course, sweetheart. I'll just send you home with some information and you can look over it whenever you feel ready. Just know that if you ever need anything, I'm only a phone call away. You can reach me day or night."

Yuzu nods.

"I'll go have a word with your doctors."

The counselor sets a comforting hand on Yuzu's shoulder. "I'll send your father back in."

She feels Yuzu relax beneath her hand and smiles slightly. At least there will be someone with her through all this.

* * *

"Otosan, you look terrible." Yuzu says to her father who sits in the arm chair beside her bed. "Have you slept at all?"

He shakes his head. "Ever since we brought you here I've been a mess. This was the most terrifying moment of my life, Yuzu." Her father keeps his head down as he explains. "I was so worried about you that I couldn't even feel myself breathing. Just thinking about how much pain you were in made my heart feel like it was collapsing on itself." She sees tears running down his cheeks. "So no, Yuzu. I haven't been to sleep. After last night I don't know when I'll be able to sleep again."

"Otosan…" Yuzu feels terrible. Is he suffering like this because of her? She attempts to sit up once again only to find it just as much a struggle as before. When she makes the slightest sound of pain, Shuzo is up and at her side in a flash.

"Don't try to push yourself, sweetheart."

"Otosan, come lay with me. Like you used to when I was little?" She hopes that the good memories from the past will help to block out the painful moments of the present. For both of their sake. "Can you sing Mama's lullaby?"

"Sure thing, my sweet girl." Shuzo smiles sadly. He takes his fragile daughter into his arms and sits back on her bed. He quietly hums the melody of the lullaby his late wife sang to calm their precious daughter during the first few hours of her life.

"Don't worry, Otosan." Yuzu whispers. "As long as I have you and my friends, I'm going to be just fine. Please don't worry." She can't help the few tears that fall down her cheeks and onto her father's jacket.

Yuzu is able to leave the next day.

Her ankle was injured in the fall, so the hospital escorts her to the car in a wheelchair.

The ride home is uncomfortable, but bearable. She lies down in the back seat and rests her eyes. She wants to put this all behind her. The rape. The fall. The hospital. Yuya coming close to finding out the whole truth. Her father crying.

It's just too much. Too much to bear. Too much to think about.

Yuzu wishes that this was easy to move past. Like a bad day, or a tough duel.

But it's not.

She was raped.

Despite all her efforts and feelings about the situation, she can't forget that. She can't forget that a monster bearing a face identical to her best friend is the one who did this. She can't forget that she loves Yuya to the moon and back- but as more time passes it's harder for her to convince herself that she's okay.

The other night felt so perfect. So right. She wants it to always feel that way.

Somehow she knows It won't.

Yesterday, Yuya made her feel safe.

Today, just the thought of Yuya makes her think of the awful darkness.

It almost seems unfair. Yuya is not the darkness. He's so much more. So much better.

For reasons she can't explain and completely against her will, Yuzu's mind is melding the darkness and her best friend as a single entity. And she hates herself for feeling this way all of a sudden. After asking him to stay with her and feeling so much comfort in his presence, how could her mind turn on her like this?

He's waiting for her in front of her house along with his mother, Ayu, Tatsuya, and Futoshi. The three kids carry a homemade sign spelling out "Welcome back, Yuzu!" She's able to spot Futoshi's handy artwork right away.

"If you want to wait in the car, I can tell them you're not feeling up to a welcome committee." Her father says as he pulls into the driveway. He notices her discomfort right away.

Yuzu hesitates at first but then shakes her hand. "No, it's alright. I'll just say hi. I don't want them to worry too much."

"Sweetheart, you don't have to try to make sure everyone else is okay. Right now, try to focus more on yourself. It's okay to be selfish at a time like this." Hiragi turns around after turning off the car engine.

"You're right, Otosan, but I'll still go see them. Just for a few minutes." Yuzu knows her father is right. She doesn't really want to see anyone right now. She wants to be alone, wrapped in a million blankets and lying on a bunch of pillows.

Otosan said he would try to get as close to that as he could.

Yoko is the only one to approach the car. She smiles gently as she opens the door. Yuzu slowly moves to the edge of the seat. "Obasan." Yuzu doesn't hear how sad she sounds.

"They tagged along with me." Yoko smirks as she gestures to Yuya and the children. "I'm taking them home right now, but I wanted to see you." She brings a strong yet gentle hand to Yuzu's ice cold cheek.

"Call me whenever you need to, okay?" Yoko can see so much in the young girl's eyes.

Sadness. Confusion. Struggle.

"I will, Obasan." Yuzu tries to smile. "Tell everyone I'll be back at You-Show soon."

"I'll tell them no such thing." Yoko winks at her. "I'll tell them that they can support you from a distance and to send you positive thoughts. Don't think there's a time limit to your recovery, young lady."

Yuzu just nods and tries to heed Yoko's words.

"I'll have Yuya bring by some food tomorrow."

Yoko doesn't expect Yuzu to recoil at the mention of her son's name. Neither does Yuzu.

"I'll bring it by myself." She taps Yuzu's nose with her pointer finger and smiles. "Get some rest, my dear.

Yuzu nods once again. "Thank you, Obasan."

"Shuzo. Come take my niece inside. She's freezing." Yoko says to Hiragi.

"Talk to you soon." Yoko whispers and kisses Yuzu's forehead. Without much of a warning Yuzu pulls Yoko into a hug. People have been so busy worrying about her they forgot that a simple hug never hurt anyone. Hugs are warm and they always make you feel safe. She eventually releases Yoko and is reminded once again that she can call anytime. Yuzu might just take her up on that offer.

Shuzo walks around and takes his little girl into his arms. "We'll get you warmed up." He whispers to Yuzu, who just curls up in her father's arms and shuts her eyes.

Once inside, he lays her on the couch and places a blanket over her.

"Give me just a few minutes to set your room up, okay?" He keeps his voice quiet.

"Thanks, Otosan." Yuzu mumbles.

He shuts all of her windows and closes the blinds. He brings in two space heaters and all the extra blankets he can find. Hopefully this'll be enough to ease his little girl's chills. He takes all the pillows from his own room as well as the guest room and lays them all flat on her bed. Anything to make her comfortable.

When he brings her up, she thanks him yet again. He just smiles at her. "Anything for my little girl."

"But i'm not hungry, Otosan." Yuzu argues after getting into bed.

"You barely ate at the hospital. Even if it's just a little please, Yuzu, try to eat something."

The young girl leans back, far too comfortable to be more frustrated.

"I'll make you a bowl of miso. You know you love it."

Contrary to her prior reactions, at the sound of her dad's miso, yuzu's mouth waters and her stomach growls slightly.

"Alright. Just a little bowl." She pouts.

"What was that? You want a giant steaming bowl of my delicious miso?" Shuzo starts to walk away.

"Otosan!"

"No I think I heard you right. Don't worry, I'll be sure to make enough."

Yuzu groans. If only she could take out her fan and whack him over the head. But he's being so wonderful right now. She couldn't possibly. Besides she doesn't have the strength to do such a thing right now.

"Thanks, Otosan." Yuzu smiles just as her father shuts the door behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey there! So, I know this chapter is really short so I decided to be nice and give you guys two chapters instead of just one.

Thanks for reading :)

* * *

"Ow!" Yuya brings a hand to his sore cheek. "What was that for?!"

"I'm only going to ask this once." Yoko starts. She sounds calm and quiet yet at the same time on the brink of exploding.

"Kaasan?"

"Did you have anything at all to do with Yuzu's attack? Tell me the truth, young man."

His eyes widen in disbelief. "What?"

"Yuya, answer the question." She approaches him and he starts to back away.

"N-no. I didn't. I swear." He answers truthfully. "She told me what happened. We were separated at the time." Yuya explains.

Yoko doesn't respond. She just walks into the kitchen. She can't get Yuzu's reaction out of her mind. Why would she react that way?

"Kaasan? Why'd you ask me that? And why'd you hit me?" Yuya is a little hurt by his mother's sudden harshness.

"I was just clearing some things up, Yuya. I'm sorry for hitting you." She says plainly.

Clearing things up? Is she serious? What could he do to deserve a hard slap to the face?

"Kaasan, believe me I wish I could have been there for her. She was all alone when this happened. I wasn't there for her when she needed me." He hangs his head low with shame. "I failed her."

"Yuya. This isn't about you. It's about Yuzu. Feeling sorry for your own failures is not the same as feeling sorry she was attacked. At a time like this, she'll need support you might not be used to giving. You'll have to learn to help her cope with this as you go along."

Yuya just nods his understanding.

"Just remember, you don't have to be by her side 24/7 to be there for her. Right now, the only male she tolerates well is her father, and she's right to feel this way. In a situation like yuzu's, you'll have to wait for her to ask you to come around. Otherwise, keep a healthy distance and support her in every other way you can." She's beginning to make sense of Yuzu's reaction. After a terrible ordeal like this, maybe a boy is that last person she'd want to think about. Maybe Yuya needs to back off for a while. Yoko can't be sure, but it's the best she's got for now.

"But Kaasan I-"

"She's going through 1001 emotions, Yuya. How she felt the day of the attack and the day after are different from how she feels today and the days going forward. Shuzo told me about last night, and I was proud that you had stayed by her side for as long as you could. But trust your mother, give Yuzu her space." Yoko explains.

"I will." Yuya obliges. "I'll try to be there in other ways." He leaves the kitchen when it's clear that's all his mother has to say.

* * *

The nightmares keep her up practically all night. After the third time she's torn from sleep, Yuzu decides to stay awake. She's thankful that she hasn't woken her father, who finally went to bed after she ate over half her bowl of miso. She'd hate to worry him again.

It's always the same nightmare- a mere recollection of that awful afternoon.

Her failed attempts to calm him.

Being thrown against the wall with strength she knew he didn't possess.

The first time he hit her.

The heartbreak she felt as he hit her again.

The unexpected bite to her neck.

Pleading for Yuya to come back to her.

Begging for him to stop- because it hurt.

Yuzu always wakes at the exact same time in the nightmare- right when he flips her onto her stomach and lifts up her skirt.

When he did that, a thought struck her. She remembers feeling her heart slow almost to a stop, her blood running cold as ice. Yuzu stopped her begging mid sentence because she knew, she knew what this monster was trying to do. Trying? More like _going_ to do _._ The only person trying anything was her, as she tried with all her might to break free. He was successful and she was not.

For Yuzu, this is almost as terrifying as the rape itself. The realization that it was going to happen- and there was nothing she could do. No way she could fight. No one who would hear.

Not even Yuya.

She sits and cries until her eyes practically run dry. Yuzu never imagined it to be so difficult to get ahold of herself but it feels impossible.

After somewhat collecting her thoughts, Yuzu grabs her duel disk.

She dials Yoko's number.

"What is it, sweetie?" Yoko answers on the first ring.

"I can't sleep." Yuzu mumbles.

"Nightmares?"

"Mmhmm…"

"Okay, first things first, we're going to take some long deep breaths, alright?"

After some deep breathing, words of encouragement and stories to make her smile, Yuzu feels so much better. She looks at her clock.

"Oh god it's 3:45!" She exclaims. "Obasan, i'm so sorry!" Yuzu feels like the most inconsiderate person in the world.

"Now you listen to me. Don't you apologize. I'm so glad you called, and I could care less about what the time was. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, Obasan." Yuzu breathes.

"Then it was well worth it. Try and sleep again. If another nightmare grips you just try to do what I mentioned and see if you can make it through the night. Call me if you need anything, my love."

"Thank you, Obasan." Yuzu still feels pretty bad about waking Yoko up. But her advice really helped. Yuzu imagines she'll be able to get _some_ sleep.

It goes on like that for some time. Every day she calls Yoko to vent her frustrations (without revealing too much) and every night she calls once again when the nightmares become too much.

After 3 weeks in semi seclusion, Yuzu feels well enough to leave her room. After another week, she's able to eat again. Naturally her portions are smaller, but it's something. The one thing that's remained constant is the cold. She's always cold. It's worse at night when she tries to sleep. On a good day she'll feel slight chills, but most days she's freezing. Yuzu hasn't figured out why.

Shuzo and Yoko sit Yuya and the other You-Show students down one evening before its time to head home for the day.

"You guys know she's been going through a rough time. She doesn't need to be constantly reminded of that." Yoko stands with her arms crossed. "She's going to behave differently than before, but that doesn't mean she's stopped caring about any of you. Never forget that."

"Yuzu has really missed you all, and she's excited to be coming back. But when she comes in tomorrow afternoon, don't ask unnecessary questions. Let things try to return to normal." Shuzo explains. "Don't take any pity on her. Even if she hadn't been hurt, Yuzu hates it when people feel sorry for her. You know her. She doesn't need that right now."

"Lastly." Yoko glances at her son for a split second. "Don't touch her."

"You mean I can't give her a hug?" Ayu's eyes grow wide with worry. "I've really missed her."

Yuya places a comforting hand on Ayu's shoulder.

"I'll rephrase that. If she is okay with it, then there's no problem. Otherwise, keep a safe distance."

Ayu hangs her head low and fights her tears.

"Don't forget. Yuzu is still Yuzu. She needs you guys." Shuzo reminds them.

"We'll be there for her. And it's our job as her friends to make her smile so we'll do just that!" Yuya says this mostly for the kids, so as to lighten the mood.

The three junior duelists all smile and nod.

"Alright, let's get you kids home." Shuzo wraps up the short meeting.


	5. Chapter 5

Here ya go everybody. See you Thursday. I'll probably go back to just one chapter per update just to spice things up.

Thanks for reading :)

* * *

"Uh… Kaasan?"

"Yes, Yuya?"

"Are you going to stop by to see her tonight?"

"I am."

"Can I come with you this time?"

"I don't think-"

"Please, I haven't asked not once because you said to keep my distance. But I want to see her and talk to her before she comes back to school." Yuya argues.

"Haven't you been texting back and forth?" Yoko just isn't sure about this.

"It's not the same, kaasan. I mean if I get there and she tells me to get lost, I'll just wait in the car. What can it hurt?" Yuya would hate for it to actually come to that. And he's praying it doesn't.

Yoko sighs. "You're right. It wouldn't hurt. Let her know you'll be stopping by, alright?"

 _Yuya: Hey, I'm stopping by with my mom tonight. I hope you're okay with that… Lemme know :)_

Yuzu:

He's coming.

Why does her chest hurt? Why are old aches and pains flaring up at the thought of seeing him? What is she afraid of? It couldn't be Yuya.

Yuzu hears her duel disk hit the floor as it slides right out of her grip.

Why are you panicking?

Stop it!

But she can't.

Yuzu leans forward as the tears pour out of her eyes and pure fear takes complete hold of her system.

Just breathe.

So long as you remember to breathe, you'll be alright. It'll be over quicker.

It's not over quickly.

Yuzu finds herself on the floor gasping for air as the very process of breathing in and out becomes a difficult task. Her world is spinning as her vision blurs. At this rate she'll pass out for sure. It's never been this bad before. Yuzu feels like her heart is trying to jump right out of her body. She doesn't know what to do?

'Yuzu.' She hears Yoko's voice.

'What makes you happy, Yuzu?'

Practicing my dueling.

Hanging out at You-Show after school.

Helping the juniors improve.

Mama's lullaby.

Yuya's goofy smile. His laugh, full of happiness and warm memories.

She takes in a shallow breath. It's not much, but it's something.

'Keep going, Yuzu. What makes you happy? What makes you laugh?'

That time they went to the beach. Yuya and Gongenzaka pulled her into the freezing cold water and then the proceeded to dunk her. She hit them both repeatedly over the head with her fan, but it was incredibly wilted due to the water.

They sat on the sand and watched the sunset. It was incredible to see the sky on fire like that.

Gongenzaka carried her on his back as they made the cold trek to Yuya's. The two boys laughed as Yuzu shivered the whole walk home.

Yoko made them hot chocolate while they dried their clothes and warmed up. They watched old movies and made fun of the terrible graphics. Yuzu hadn't laughed so hard in such a long time. Despite how cold and irritated she was, that is still one of her most favorite memories to look back on. It was a beautiful day that had a calm beginning, a wild middle, and a perfect end. Yuzu can't believe she was ever okay with being cold. But then she realizes that other things were more important than whether she was hot or cold.

Being with my friends.

'Does that make you happy, Yuzu?'

Yes. It always does.

A deep breath this time. Yuzu feels the air return to her body. It fills her up along with her favorite happy memory.

She picks up her duel disk.

 _Yuzu: Yay! See you soon :)_

Yuya didn't realize he was holding his breath until he read Yuzu's reply. He wasn't paying attention to how tuned in for her response he was.

She wants to see me. That's good. I wonder what will have changed? Can I still make her laugh? Does she still want me to help keep her safe? I guess I'll find out.

"So she said yes?" Yoko walks in to find Yuya placing his goggles on his head. He nods at his mother with a smile.

"I want to give her something." Yuya picks up a small box from his bedside drawer and hands it to Yoko. "Tell me what you think." He wants to know her opinion.

Inside the box is a pendant practically identical to his own.

"I remember when I went through a hard time, and Otosan would tell me how if I made others happy, that same happiness would swing like a pendulum back towards me. He used the pendant to tell me that laughter really is the best medicine when times are hard. I wanted to remind Yuzu of that, and to help her get back into the groove of dueling with smiles again."

Yoko carefully places the pendant replica back in its box and hands it to Yuya.

"So, what do you think?" He shrugs and seems to hold his breath as he waits for her response.

"I think that it's a perfect gift, and that she'll love it. If anything she'll appreciate the thought that went into it." Yoko smiles.

"Thanks, Kaasan." He probably wouldn't have gone through with this without her approval. But since she likes it, it seems Yuzu might like it as well.

"Let's get going. Before it gets too late. Shuzo said she's been going to bed earlier recently." Yoko leaves the room.

Yuya checks his clock. It's 5:30. The time of year has already lengthened the days and sunset is not until after 7pm at the earliest.

She likes going to bed with all this daylight? Yuya knows he shouldn't question it. Everyone has their own little habits that don't seem to make sense on the surface.

"How's my girl doing?" Yoko asks shuzo as he opens the door for her and Yuya.

"Much better now that you guys are here. She was sitting on pins and needles waiting for you!"

 _Earlier…_

"Yuya's coming with Obasantoday." Yuzu walks into the living room with a blanket around her shoulders.

"Is he? Did he just text you?" Shuzo pats the space next to him on the couch. Yuzu slowly makes her way over and leans on her father once she sits down.

"He asked if he could come… I felt like I owed him that much."

"Yuzu, sweetheart you owe nothing to no one. Even Yuya will tell you that."

Yuzu sighs. "I know… But I've been avoiding him for a month now." She admits. "I don't know why, but I have."

"Because you've taken time to heal. He understood that."

"Well," Yuzu sighs again and pulls the blanket tighter around herself. "Maybe I don't owe him. But I think enough time has passed and i'm ready to see him now." She admits. This can only be so if Yuzu is able to remind herself of the truth. Yuya wasn't the one to make her like this. So long as she remembers that, Yuzu imagines she'll be alright.

She can't let herself forget how Yuya has always made her feel. He makes her laugh. He makes her feel safe and like everything will be okay no matter how bad things get.

This is who's coming to see her today. Her best friend. The monster that ruined her won't be anywhere in sight.

* * *

"I brought this for you." Yuya hands Yuzu the small box.

"You didn't have to!" Yuzu exclaims.

"No, it's okay. I wanted to." Yuya defends.

"Just a little… Good luck/welcome back charm." He smiles. She's missed that smile.

He looks somewhat anxious as Yuzu opens the gift.

She gasps.

It's a small pendant, very similar to the one he always wears.

"Yuya it's beautiful!" Yuzu smiles. "I love it!"

"I'm glad you like it. I wanted to give you something before you came back to help get the happy feel for dueling again. My dad always reminded me that making others happy never fails to make us happy. I'm hoping what it did for me, it can do for you plus more."

Yuzu feels her eyes burning with tears.

"That's so… So sweet, Yuya. Thank you." She reaches out to hug him. More thought and care resides in his little finger than in her entire body, she's always known that. Even though they haven't seen much of each other in this past month, he's been thinking about her this whole time. She really doesn't deserve a friend like him. Nevertheless Yuzu is glad that she knows him.

When yuzu hugs him, she feels how warm he is, and she can feel his heart beating almost as fast as her own. He must have been more nervous than he appeared.

"I'll look at this whenever I need that reminder. It'll make me think of you. Now I'll always remember to smile." Yuzu sets the box down and hands the pendant to Yuya. "Can you put it on for me?" She turns her back towards him and moves her hair out of the way.

"Was your hair always this long?" Yuya wonders.

"Well… Yeah actually." Yuzu shrugs with a smile. "I kinda ditched the pigtails for something a little simpler. With my hair down I feel a less cold." She confesses. Yuya notices how she's grown quieter. Maybe he should try to shift the subject.

"Oh, by the way, Yuya I really need to thank you for helping me stay caught up with the homework." Yuzu turns around and is facing her friend once again. "It's been so much easier to stay on track."

"Oh." Yuya laughs nervously. "It was nothing really. I guess I had a reason to focus on school a little more. So this was a win for us both."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Yuya, let's get going so Yuzu can get her rest." Yoko has entered the living room, having dropped off her food delivery for Yuzu and talked to Shuzo about how Yuzu's doing.

"Be right there." Yuya grabs his jacket.

"I'll be in the car." Yoko kisses Yuzu's forehead. "Bye, my sweet girl."

"Bye, Obasan. Thanks for the food."

"It was my pleasure. I'll see you tomorrow at you-show. Yuya, Don't be long."

"See you tomorrow, Yuzu."

"Thanks again for the present." Yuzu smiles as she holds the pendant. "I'll see you at school." She stands up to hug him once more. Her blanket falls to the floor when she rises to her feet. Yuzu shivers almost violently. Instead of hugging Yuya, she grabs her own arms and holds herself. Yuya can see the fear in her eyes.

"Yuzu?" He's worried about her.

"It's… It's so cold." She sounds like she isn't breathing.

Yuya notices her blanket on the floor. He picks it up and wraps it around her shoulders.

Her expression is dazed, and she looks so afraid. "Cold…. Cold… Cold." She repeats with each labored breath. "Cold… Cold…"

"Yuzu, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay." Yuya sits her back down on the couch. He reaches behind him to grab another blanket and covers her up.

Yuzu is kicking herself internally. Not now! Not in front of Yuya! She can't calm herself down. She can't control this spiral into panic.

"I'm sorry!" She yells as her breathing becomes even more shallow and the tears stream down her face.

Yuya holds her close and tries to warm her up even further. He's never felt another person shake like this before.

"Don't be sorry. It's alright." Yuya whispers as he holds her tight. "You're safe, Yuzu. You're safe and warm."

She just whimpers in his arms.

"Safe and warm… Safe and warm." He repeats softly as he slowly rocks her. "Can you say it with me?" Yuya asks.

There's no immediate response. But he continues to hold her.

"S-safe…" She mumbles. "Warm." She curls up and snuggles into him.

"That's right, Yuzu. You're safe and warm." Yuya repeats. They sit in the tight embrace until Yuzu is somewhat calm. She has no clue how she ended up in his lap, or how her arms ended up nearly crushing his rib cage, but realizes that she must have moved closer and closer in the effort to stay warm. He was so warm.

She takes a deep breath when she thinks it's over.

"Yuya." She says quietly as she pulls away and sits back on the couch. Yuzu is beyond mentally exhausted. "I'm… I'm so sorry you had to see me that way. Believe me it's not always like this." Yuzu tries to explain herself. She looks so lost. "I'm really trying to make it better. I swear it's-" "Hey, hey! Wait a second." Yuya cuts her off. "Yuzu, What are you talking about?" He's shocked. "Why are you sorry? Don't ever apologize for how you feel. It won't make things better." He tells her.

"I… I just don't know why I'm so cold all the time and why I get so scared." Yuzu really does sound confused and very afraid.

"Hey, it's alright. It's okay." Yuya talks her down. He places comforting hands on her cheeks and wipes her tears with his thumbs. "It's okay." He whispers. Yuzu just starts to cry again, unsure why the cap on her emotions fell off while Yuya was here to see it. "Yuzu, you're okay now." Yuya starts. He takes her hands in both of his and places them on his chest. "Feel that? My heartbeat? Feel what happens when I take a few deep breaths."

Yuya still remembers the one and only time he had a panic attack. How his mother calmed him down has stuck with him, even three years later. It was the most frightening moment of his life. He can't even begin to imagine how Yuzu must feel.

Yuzu nods. "Mmhmm." His heart is beating fast but with every slow, deep breath he takes she feels it slow down.

"Now," he shifts her hands from his chest to her own. "You try."

It feels like there's a drum inside her beating away at her sanity. Her heart is racing at a mile a minute. "One breath at a time."

Yuzu tries, but immediately becomes flustered when she fails. "I can't do it, Yuya." She shakes her head. "Just try again. Take your time, Yuzu." His voice is quiet and gentle. After several painstaking attempts, Yuzu manages to take her first deep breath. "Doesn't that feel better." Yuya asks.

She nods, too focused on her breathing to speak. Her heartbeat is no longer in her ears. She feels it slowing down under her palms.

Yuzu falls into his arms once again. She misses his warmth. "You're so warm, Yuya." She doesn't even realize she's said it aloud.

"Glad I could help." He smiles.

Yuya doesn't leave until he is sure that Yuzu is comfortable. He'd have stayed all night if she asked.

Shuzo watched the entire scene unfold from the kitchen/dining room entrance. He practically bit his tongue to keep from yelling. He wanted to rush to his little girl's rescue. But then he saw yuya's reaction and realized, maybe I should see where this goes. See he did. Yuya was able to calm her down remarkably quick, and he did so with such patience and kindness. He was everything Yuzu needed at the exact moment she needed it.

 _Thank you, Yuya._


	6. Chapter 6

"I'd like to personally welcome you back, and if there is anything at all we can do to help you get back into the groove of things, please don't hesitate to let us know. All of your instructors have been informed of your situation and I even ordered a mandatory workshop for all the staff and administration on counseling and trauma." The school assistant principal smiles kindly at Yuzu who seems very closed off and nervous.

The administration decided that it'd be better if Yuzu met with the female assistant principal, rather than the awkward, slightly out of touch, male principal- who would usually handle things of this magnitude.

"How are you feeling this morning?" The assistant principal leans forward slightly.

"I- I guess I'm alright." Yuzu's voice is just above a whisper.

"That's a start." The assistant smiles. "If at any time during the day you don't feel well, just excuse yourself. We've sat all your instructors down and they have no problem with it." She says gently. "We're here to help, Yuzu."

"Do they all know…" Yuzu doesn't know how to form the question. "What happened to me?" That I was raped by a monster living inside my best friend? That my coverup ending up exposing all of this in the first place? That i'm still crumbling to pieces but have to act like I'm not?

"No details about what happened have been shared. It's strictly need to know and that is at your discretion alone. They were just informed that a traumatic incident occurred and that you should be given privacy and patience in your first few weeks back from recovering."

"Thank you." Yuzu nods. This news is actually a lot better than what she was expecting. It sounds like the really are trying. Yuzu is impressed but also incredibly grateful. Having even more people find out about all of this would be the most embarrassing thing ever. She would just feel more ashamed about what happened.

The first morning bell rings.

"Let's get you to class." The assistant principal stands and straightens out her jacket.

Yuzu slowly stands and zips up her sweater.

"It was good of your friend to keep you caught up with the homework and lessons." The assistant principal attempts to make small talk as they walk to the classroom.

"Yeah." Yuzu wishes they could just walk in silence so she can mentally prepare herself. "Now i'm not too far behind."

"Yes, I know catching up can be a struggle-"

"But Yuya made sure I got through it." She feels like she may sound rude, but Yuzu really needs a moment of quiet.

The assistant principal catches on, much to Yuzu's relief. The rest of the walk is spent in silence.

"Like I said before, if there's anything you need just let any of your instructors know. Good luck, and welcome back!" The assistant principal smiles kindly at Yuzu once they reach the classroom.

"Thanks for all your help." Yuzu attempts to smile before basically running into the classroom.

"Welcome back, Yuzu." Her instructor smiles warmly at her.

"Good to be back, sensei." She bows slightly. Yuzu walks to her normal seat and is not surprised to hear her classmates whispering among themselves. She's assuming the students don't know much, but they probably have enough information to formulate their own ideas. Being gone for a month means their stories are probably even more wild than the actual truth. Her talks with Yoko have prepared her for this. They don't matter. They're not important. So what they say means nothing. They'll stop once they realize it has no effect on her.

When she finally takes her seat she notices Yuya isn't in his regular spot next to her. Late as usual, she rolls her eyes. Just as she completes her internal chuckle Yuya comes stumbling through the door.

"Good of you to join us, Yuya." The instructor doesn't even look away from the board. Yuya just smiles sheepishly and proceeds to take his seat. His face lights up when he notices Yuzu waving at him.

She feels a warm comfort settle deep within her when he smiles at her. He'll be what gets her through today- she imagines. She hopes.

"Now that Sakaki has graced us with his presence, let's begin, shall we?" The instructor runs through today's agenda and starts the lesson.

* * *

Lunch time. She feels tired, but alright so far. Yuya has been a great help. He's answered all of her school questions and has asked how she's doing throughout the day. She feels so much better with him by her side.

"Hey, come on I wanna show you something." Yuya holds his hand out for Yuzu to take. "Me and Gongenzaka found this cool new spot on campus where we can eat and hang out." Yuya feels Yuzu squeeze his hand slightly and although she tags along, she wears a nervous expression. Yuya slows the pace slightly.

"Everything okay?" He asks as he leads her past the tables outside the cafeteria.

"Mmhm." She nods.

"This spot we found is a little quieter. I think some time away from the noise might help a bit." Yuya suggests. He hasn't failed to notice all the trash fellow schoolmates have been talking about his friend.

Again, Yuzu just nods.

"Hey." They slow to a stop, just far enough out of anyone's hearing range. "If anything was wrong, you'd tell me, right?" He speaks softly, and isn't offended when she won't make eye contact.

Yuzu takes a deep breath. She trusts him. She needs him. He's made this day so much easier.

"I- I would." Yuzu finally answers. "I'm… I'm just tired."

"All this stuff people are saying, is it bothering you at all?"

"Not really, I guess. I figured people would have their own theories as to why I've been gone." Yuzu shrugs. "I don't care… I have enough to worry about. I think as long as you're here and," she touches her new pendant. "I remember to smile, I'll be alright."

Yuya just smiles and continues walking again, their hands still joined. "I think you'll like this." He picks up the pace.

They arrive at a field near the south end of the school, a little ways from the outdoor cafeteria seating. Gongenzaka is sitting on a picnic blanket practically in the center of the large field, away from all the trees on the edge which could provide shade.

"Good to see you again, Yuzu. Pray you're doing well." Gongenzaka has always been formal. Yuzu stopped questioning it a long time ago.

"Hey! It's been a while." She hugs the beefy teenager. "This is a nice little setup you boys have here." Yuzu sits down on the blanket.

"Well, I was thinking since the cold bothers you and it was a warm and sunny day that we'd take advantage and come out here for a little bit." Yuya explains as he sits next to her.

"Here, close your eyes and lean back a little." He instructs. Yuzu slowly obliges. She feels it. The warmth of the sun hitting her face and neck. It feels amazing.

Yuzu leans back further and unzips her sweater slightly to feel more of the natural heat.

"This is great, Yuya." She says quietly. "It's just what I needed. Thank you." She opens her eyes just long enough to see him smile lovingly at her. She closes them again when the blush hits her cheeks.

"Hey, Yuzu?" Yuya asks her after a few more minutes of her basking in the sun.

"Hmmm?"

"Where's your lunch?"

"What?"

"Your lunch. I just noticed, you didn't bring anything."

Yuzu hesitates before answering. "Oh, Um… Well it looks like I left it in my locker with my backpack." She shrugs to make the lie seem more natural. "But that's alright, I'm not really hungry." Yuzu told her father she had packed her own lunch, when in truth she brought nothing at all. She didn't imagine she'd make it this far in the day. And even if she did, Yuzu didn't think she'd have room for anything but butterflies.

"Are you sure? My mom must be able to predict the future because she packed all this extra stuff and left this note saying…" He holds up a piece of paper. "Make sure she eats, I'll know if she doesn't."

"Oh…"

"Here, she made a lot for you to choose from." Yuya hands her his lunchbox. He should have known his mother packed extra when she sent him off with this walking fridge of a lunchbox. Since he was running a little later than usual, he didn't really have time to question it.

"You know she'll probably kill me if she finds out you didn't eat." He reminds Yuzu. "At least try something."

Yuzu heaves a deep sigh. "Alright."

"If you like, Yuzu, I'll split something with you." Gongenzaka suggests. He used to do this when Yuya wouldn't eat. It worked very well, and Yoko still thanks Gongenzaka to this day for his help.

"Actually, yeah I would like that, thanks." Yuzu smiles. "And don't worry, Yuya, I'll let auntie know that you didn't let me starve."

"Much appreciated." Yuya nods.

"Thanks so much for this, guys. I was pretty low by the time we hit lunch and this really cheered me up." Yuzu thanks her friends as they walk back towards the school.

"When one of us is hurt, we all hurt. When one needs friends, we're all here." Gongenzaka announces.

"Exactly." Yuya agrees. "We're here for you no matter what."

"You guys are the best." Yuzu smiles at her two awesome friends and takes their hands as they continue walking. This is the best she's felt in such a long time. For the first time in so long, she feels warmth not just around her but inside herself as well. Warmth that can only be felt when she's with these two special people.

"How was the whore, guys?"

The warmth disappears.

A random boy- an older student by the looks of it- who Yuzu doesn't recognize is standing near the cafeteria entrance with a group of people who she can assume are his friends.

She just tries to keep walking.

"Come on, Hiragi. During school? Weren't you afraid of getting caught doing something so nasty?" The boy chides. His friends all snicker as though no one can tell they're laughing.

"Keep your mouth shut." Yuya glares at the boy. "You don't know what you're talking about." He starts to guide Yuzu away, toward the front of the school.

"I bet you didn't even take turns. I bet you both did her at once, Cuz she likes it rough."

"That's enough!" Gongenzaka yells and approaches the boy with unknown intentions.

"You will say no more to slander Yuzu." He orders. "Or you'll have me to deal with." His voice lowers as he towers over the boy. He rejoins Yuya and Yuzu and they start to walk away again.

"So Yuya did you take her from behind this time?" The boy can't seem to help himself as he makes these hideous remarks. He really thinks this is funny. The idiot must not have realized Yuzu was raped. There's no other reason he could be so cruel. That is… Unless he finds rape a funny topic.

The question makes Yuzu stop in her tracks. She turns around and finally faces this boy.

"You better back off before I make you back off." Yuya threatens and even starts toward the older boy. His eyes dark with anger. Yuzu won't let Yuya sully his hands. He's too good a person to get mixed up in this. But Yuzu is not. She grabs Yuya's arm and pulls him back. She holds onto him with trembling hands. Her eyes never leave the older boy.

The student and his friends don't fail to notice how the color has drained completely from Yuzu's face. They can see the pain in her expression.

"Yuzu?" She can't hear Yuya or Gongenzaka as they try to grab her attention so they can leave. She continues to stare at the boy making the comments until he is clearly uncomfortable- and then she continues to stare.

No one expects for her to take off running in his direction, Yuya least of all. No one is prepared when Yuzu tackles the boy to the ground and tries with all her might to kill him. She claws at his eyes. She punches anything she can touch or see. She tries her best to choke the life out of him.

Yuzu continues to beat up the completely shocked boy until he gets over the shock and gains some momentum. The two roll over and now Yuzu is on her back. She still tries her best to hurt him. The boy punches Yuzu in the eye in an effort to stop or at least somewhat slow her. Yuzu hardly reacts. She forces them to roll over once again so she can attempt to strangle him.

Gongenzaka finally manages to pull her off and the recently arrived security guards pull the boy away.

"I'll kill him! I'll kill him!" Yuzu shouts. She's never been this angry. Never in her short life. Yuzu normally doesn't have a very long fuse to begin with, but something like this wouldn't have fazed her. She wouldn't have been furious enough to try and kill someone.

The boy is taken away by school security, battered and bloody.

"Crazy whore!" He shouts.

Yuzu tries once again to lunge for him but is stopped when Gongenzaka grabs her arms. The boy shrieks and runs inside the school.

"Coward!" Yuzu yells at him. "Coward!" Her voice is shrill and louder than she's ever heard herself.

"Yuzu, enough!" Gongenzaka yells. "Let's go." He leads her away. She turns back toward the cafeteria but is gently pushed forward. "It's over."

Yuya is still speechless. Of all things that could have been said to her, he didn't think a stupid question like that would have set Yuzu off. It was a foul and ignorant question, yes. But he had just called Yuzu a whore. If anything, why didn't that make her more upset? When she pulled Yuya back, he thought it was so they could all just walk away together and avoid a fight. Yet… She's the one who went off. He was ready to fight this battle for her. But Yuya can't remember a time when Yuzu has let him do that.

He's still just… so confused. Confused and surprised. She's been so quiet and withdrawn. Yuya didn't think he'd watch her try to kill someone on her first day back.

"Tell the principal I went home." Yuzu mumbles.

"Yuzu hold-"

"Just tell him I left! I'm going home!" She cuts Yuya off and storms away. "Don't follow me." She says without turning back.

She starts running after she is off school property. She runs and runs and when she's tired she keeps running. She runs past you-show, past yuya's house, past her own- Yuzu runs until she is out of street to run on.

She falls to her knees and digs her fingers into the sand.

It's when she's at the beach that Yuzu allows herself to cry. She allows herself to panic. She allows the sorrow and the pain in her heart to take over. She can feel the tears leaking from her slowly swelling eye. It still doesn't hurt.

What just happened?

Why did he say that?

You know he's ignorant.

You know he couldn't have been serious.

No one knows.

Yuya still doesn't know.

No one can ever know.

Why did he say that?

Yuzu curls up on her side and hugs her knees to her chest.

Why did he say that?


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys. Sorry this chapter isn't very long. Hope you like it. I'll see you next week!

* * *

Yuya is the one to think of checking the beach. It's the only place they haven't looked. They want to check everywhere they can think of before calling the police.

He's the one to find her.

She's curled up on the sand, asleep, in the most secluded and hidden area at the beach. The bruise on her eye looks pretty bad. Her expression is pained and she doesn't look at all comfortable.

 _Yuya: Found her. She was at the beach._

He texts the entire search party.

 _Yuya: Taking her to my house._

Is what he texts Shuzo.

His house is a lot closer. It'll be easier to carry her there.

* * *

"Oh thank heavens you found her." Yoko has tears in her eyes. "Take her to the guest room. Cover her up. I'll get some ice for that eye."

Yoko doesn't even question how Yuzu got the black eye. She doesn't seem to care now that she knows Yuzu is safe.

Yuya failed to mention the fight.

He lays her down in the guest room and covers her up. Yoko enters soon after with ice wrapped in a towel. "Here." She hands it to Yuya. "Be gentle. Try not to wake her." She whispers. "Did you call her father?"

Yuya nods. "He knows she's here. He'll probably be here soon." Yuya whispers his response. He then focuses on carefully placing the ice on Yuzu's worsening black eye. The young girl shifts when the cold towel touches her face but doesn't move.

"Stay with her, Yuya." Yoko leaves when the doorbell rings.

"You had us really worried, Yuzu." Yuya says quietly to the sound asleep girl.

"I really thought you just went home. Crazy of me, it's like I don't know my best friend." He laughs quietly. "I should have known you wouldn't go home. At least not until you cooled off.

"Yuzu. You can't keep doing this. I was so worried about you. Worried that something would happen to you again. It's the worst feeling in the world not knowing if you're okay. Please, please, Yuzu. Let me be there for you. Don't run away." He has tears in his eyes by the end. "I know I can help. So please, don't run away again. Run to your friends and family. We love you, Yuzu. I… I love you. I'd hate for you to be in anymore pain. You don't have to suffer alone."

He takes Yuzu's hand.

She'll keep the fact that she was awake for that last part a secret for now.

* * *

"A fight?" Shuzo is extremely confused.

"This guy was saying some pretty nasty stuff. He was calling… He kept calling her names. Both me and Gongenzaka told him to leave her alone. He kept pushing and, to be honest… It really looked like something had snapped. I guess it got to her because she just lost it." Yuya explains to Shuzo and Yoko.

Shuzo just can't believe it.

"She's always had a weird temper, but this still seemed like it was from out of nowhere." Yuya comments.

"So that's how she got the black eye? This boy hit her?" Shuzo asks.

"Yeah but believe me, she roughed him up a lot worse." Yuya answers truthfully. "He was trying to get away, I don't think he wasn't trying to hurt her."

Shuzo sighs deeply and massages his temples. The stress he's dealt with in these past several weeks has wreaked havoc on his body. He's lost almost 15 pounds since her hospital visit. His hair is falling out. His stomach is always in knots, and Shuzo _swears_ there's something wrong with his lungs. He can't breathe or eat or sleep or work because his little girl is still suffering. She's suffering and he can't help her no matter what he tries.

Shuzo breaks down in tears.

"Yuya, go sit with her for a while." Yoko tells her son. ""Go on." She says as she places a comforting hand on Shuzo's shoulder.

Yuzu is sitting up when Yuya opens the door. She has a massive headache and was about to get up to search for something to take for the pain.

"Y-Yuya? How'd I end up here?" She brings a hand to her head, which is pounding.

The boy doesn't answer. Instead he runs to her and wraps his arms around her slim figure.

The hug catches her off guard and she stifles a scream when he touches her. He can feel her tensing up but holds on when she relaxes soon after.

He says nothing. He just sits there with his arms around her. When he finally pulls away, there are tears in his eyes. He stays next to her on the bed but refuses to make eye contact.

"Yuya? Is… Is everything okay?"

"No…" Yuya sounds shaken. "Everything's not okay."

"What's wrong?" Yuzu asks.

"I want to be mad at you, Yuzu. But I can't do it." Yuya admits, his voice laced with guilt and sadness. "All we've done is constantly worry about you. It's making us-" he takes a deep breath. "It's making me go crazy inside. And the worst part is… I know this isn't your fault. I know that." Yuya confesses. "But I can't help but feel just a little upset, and hurt that you won't let any of us help you."

"That's not true." Yuzu mumbles. "That's just not true."

"What do you mean?" Yuya wipes his tears.

"You're always there when I need you. You make me feel warm again, Yuya. The cold goes away because of you. Your mom helped me through all my nightmares, and both she and my dad made sure I didn't starve to death. I am accepting help. I… I'm just not 100% better like I thought I'd be by now. Time has passed and I do feel better… But I still don't feel like- like me, do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah…" Yuya answers slowly. "I do."

"I know I'm not giving everyone an easy time. And believe me, no one feels worse about it than I do. Just trust me when I say that i'm not trying to run away from you. I know you and Obasan and Otosan are all worried like crazy and… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I wish none of you knew. I wish things could go back to the way they were before all of this happened." Yuzu cries. She feels so much- too much right now. She's angry and sad and guilty and even a little worried- for her father.

"Don't you apologize." Yuya starts. "You can't control how you feel anymore than we can control our own emotions. If I was going through a rough time, you'd smack me for apologizing. We're here for you because we care about you, Yuzu. Not because we think it's a burden or a chore."

"Guess I'm not too used to being on the receiving end." Yuzu shrugs.

"Actually… Yeah that's pretty accurate. It's always been me getting into some kind of trouble and feeling down sometimes. You were always there to listen, or give advice, or a good whack on the head if I needed it."

"I regret none of those."

"Hey, no arguments here." Yuya laughs. "I know this isn't what you're used to, and trust me, I'm not either. But in a way, I like this set up. Now is my chance to see if I can be the kind of supportive friend you've always been for me. You never gave up on me, and I don't plan on leaving you hanging either."

She's the one to hug him this time.

"I'm sorry for scaring everyone today. Thanks for sticking by me through all this." Her voice is quiet.

"Just try not to beat up anymore people." He hugs her back.

"I make no promises."

They share a laugh.

Yuya really wants to know what it is that upset her so bad. Was it that last question that the boy asked? Was Yuzu just overwhelmed by the whole situation? Yuya knows he can't ask. Everyone wants to put this behind them.

"Hey, where do you guys keep the headache stuff again?" Yuzu breaks the short silence. "He landed some solid punches."

"Here, I'll get you something."

"Thanks, Yuya." She sounds somewhat embarrassed.

"Hey, no big deal right?"

"I guess. I also meant thanks… For not asking about earlier. I know you were thinking about it. I really can't explain it to you, at least not now, but I don't want you to worry, okay?"

"Okay." He has to trust her. It can't just go one way. "Can I ask one thing?"

Yuzu frowns. "Depends." her eyes narrow as she turns to look at him.

"When I… How come you… Wow I have no idea how to word this." Yuya laughs nervously at his inability to form a sentence. "I was just wondering why you pulled me back?" It doesn't make sense to his own ears. But he and Yuzu have always been able to understand each other no matter how little sense they made.

And she does understand.

"Because you're not like me." Yuzu shakes her head. "You're a good person. I wasn't about to let you stoop down to my level."

"Yuzu, don't say that."

"It's true! You're just so… Good, Yuya. You're innocent. And I don't mean like a baby or a little kid. I'm not trying to make fun of you." Yuzu reminds him. Now it's her turn to attempt to get her point across with words. She feels like she's doing a terrible job. "Great now I don't know how to talk anymore." Yuzu huffs. "I just thought that getting you involved in that nonsense was a mistake. The Yuya I know doesn't start fights. He's always calm and peaceful and smiling."

"That's nice and all, but just hearing everything he was saying to you. Calling you those names. It just made my blood boil."

"I know, Yuya. I could tell. I hardly ever see you upset and I've known you forever." Yuzu takes a deep breath. "But still… I didn't want you getting involved in that mess."

"He was talking to me and Gongenzaka too, Yuzu. This wasn't just just directed at you." Yuya points out, his eyes staring at his lap. "When he suggested that either of us would ever do any of the things he mentioned to you, our best friend… I swear, Yuzu. I wanted to kill him."

"I know, Yuya. You guys are such good friends because you really care about me and you just wanted to protect me. But no way am I going to let some loser get you expelled. I'll never let you stick your neck out like that." Yuzu is pretty sure that due to her 'situation', she won't be punished as severely as any other student. She wasn't thinking about that at the time, obviously, but is glad that she had something to fall back on. The school is still on her side.

"I guess." Yuya shrugs, unsure what else to say. Instead, he just stands.

"I'll be back with your painkillers, and probably some food too." He smiles.

"I guess…" Yuzu rolls her eyes. She may as well try to eat something.

"Thanks, Yuya."

* * *

A/N: So some of you are saying you think this should be rated M. I'm not really used to publishing stuff and ratings and all that. I know that my stuff isn't all that graphic. Adult-ish themes but still like... not that graphic. I've read some pretty heavy stuff that was rated T, but meh. Learning curve. That all being said, I might change the rating. It does get a little heavy later on, but not for a few more chapters.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm so sorry I'm a day late guys! I was busy all day and then I just got sleepy and forgot. But here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

Yuzu waits a few days before returning to school. In those few days, Yuzu has to attend a conference with her father and the school principal. She's been assigned to visit with the school psychologist once a week until the end of the term. She is also required to sit down with the school guidance counselor and the boy who made the comments- Kosei- and apologize. It burns her up inside to apologize to him because it seemed he was simply waiting for her to snap with his insane comments.

One thing happened that Yuzu did not expect. Upon her apologizing to Kosei, he broke down in tears.

"What's your problem?" She asks him, her voice dripping with bitterness.

"Hiragi San…" He starts. "They told me what really happened and why you were gone so long. When I heard, I felt like… I felt terrible for saying all the stuff I said."

"Oh please!" Yuzu laughs as she rolls her eyes behind her sunglasses. "Even if I hadn't been _violated_ ," she emphasizes the word on purpose and is satisfied when Kosei cringes. "It wouldn't have changed the fact that you said some completely ugly and cruel stuff, Senpai, really ugly stuff." She's just getting warmed up. "Even if I hadn't been attacked and was doing something weird, that's still _my_ business, okay? You had no right to say any of that no matter what it is that you thought I was doing!" She's on her feet now standing in front of Kosei. The counselor is sitting behind his desk, watching the conversation unfold. He's interested in what Yuzu has to say, but is ready to step in if things get hostile.

"Not only did you say terrible things about me but you brought my friends into it. You dragged Yuya… How dare you speak to him that way. _How dare you!_ " She comes even closer to Kosei.

"Yuzu, take it down a notch." The counselor steps in but immediately steps out when Yuzu backs down.

"I'm sure you noticed that I didn't- rightfully- try to kill you until after you started talking all that trash to Yuya. For your information, I was 'taken from behind' as you so elegantly put it," she air quotes. "And it was the most painful…. Most… Most painful…" She can't control the tears. She can't control the air leaving her lungs. "Dammit, Senpai!" She's blaming him for this panic attack.

Kosei just stares in complete horror.

"Alright, Yuzu." The counselor stands and walks over to the young girl as she continues to hold herself and cry. "Take a seat." He guides her back to her chair. "Yuzu, listen to me, I'm going to count backwards from 10. With each count, try to slow your breathing." He has a steady hand bracing her shoulder. Yuzu nods, focused solely on the counselor's voice.

"10… 9… 8…"

By the time he hits 2, she's stopped crying and is breathing steadily again.

"Better?" He asks. Yuzu just replies with another nod. "Did you say everything you wanted to say?"

"No!" She finally looks up. "I'm not finished." She takes a deep breath.

"Kosei Senpai, I don't care what you say about me. Do whatever you want. Just... _Leave. My friends_. _Alone._ Do you understand me?"

Kosei is still speechless from what he just witnessed.

"Senpai!" Yuzu snaps him back to attention.

"Yeah, I got it." Kosei runs a hand through his hair. "I got it."

"You're not to say a word about anything that you saw or that you learned today. Just because one person knows the truth, doesn't mean people are automatically going to just shut up about it. The best thing you can do to help me at this point is to just… Just be quiet." She continues. "The only rumors that I appreciate you actively shutting down, if you must, are any that involve my friends. That thing about me, Gongenzaka, and Yuya at lunch the other day," she shakes her head. "Feel free to kill that one. Anything to do with my friends- I don't want to hear about it." Yuzu has finally caught her breath.

"Are… Are you sure? I can tell people to quit it with the rumors altogether. After-"

"Senpai," Yuzu cuts him off. "You've done enough."

"But what about all this other stuff people are saying? You know it wasn't just me."

"Of course I know it wasn't just you! This stupid… gossip is just what we do as teens with too much time on our hands. We can't control what others say, Senpai, but we can control what we listen to and what we ignore. I _chose_ not to listen to your 'clever' little jabs about me, but when you involved my friends and asked Yuya that god awful question…" Her cheeks grow warm and her heart starts to race as the anger returns. "That I couldn't ignore."

"I… I understand, Hiragi San." Kosei surrenders.

"I know it doesn't make the most sense in the world. But after something like this happens to you, nothing really makes sense. I have to make due with what I have and that's not a lot for me right now." Yoko taught her this. At the time she just listened, not really caring to understand. After this whole back to school gone wrong nonsense, Yuzu understands what Yoko was saying with perfect clarity.

She doesn't care what people say about her. She simply doesn't. Yuzu has a finite amount of energy. She's decided to devote it to spending time with friends and family who can help her recover. She could care less about what twisted theories her classmates have come up with. What does any of that stuff matter? Yuzu is the only person in the world who knows the truth. That's all that counts. What they say can't hurt her.

It's when they brought up Yuya that she had a problem. It makes her feel like someone is onto her. Like her biggest secret is out and everyone knows it. That is her biggest weakness. Something she can't stand to even think about, let alone hear from others.

"Kosei, I think Yuzu is being very clear about what she wants going forward. There's a lot of truth to what she's saying. Even if what she went through is brought to everyone's attention, it doesn't mean they'll automatically start treating her better. Sexual assault is just so misunderstood by kids your age. It could actually make the bullying worse."

"It just doesn't seem fair." Kosei admits.

"Nothing that's happened so far has been fair, Senpai. I don't think being raped was fair. Telling everyone is not going to magically change how people think of me. Especially since they've made up their own facts about how I've spent my month off." Yuzu crosses her arms.

"But, having one more person in your corner won't hurt you, Yuzu, I hope you know that." The counselor tells the young girl. She just nods.

"Will there be any further issues between you two?" The counselor asks.

"No." Yuzu says right away.

"Uh… yeah what she said. No problems."

"Kosei I'm just reminding you once more that you are not allowed to discuss this session. Yuzu's business is strictly confidential and you can actually face serious repercussions for talking about this to anyone."

"Understood." Kosei nods. "For what it's worth, Yuzu- wait, can I call you Yuzu?"

She nods again. Why not?

"I just wanted to say I'm-"

"I'm sorry for starting a fight with you." Yuzu cuts him off- she doesn't make direct eye contact as she speaks. "I lost my temper and it won't happen again."

"It's alright, I really deserved it. All that crap I was spewing I think I saw it coming. I just thought it would be the big guy instead of you." He tries to release some of the tension. Yuzu does crack a slight smile, much to Kosei's relief.

"Bygones are bygones." Yuzu holds out her right hand to him. "Let's move past it."

"Agreed. Let's start over. Hi, i'm Kosei, 3rd year middle school."

"Yuzu, 2nd year."

* * *

"So… How'd it go?" Yuya tries to ease his way into the conversation after handing Yuzu her bowl of strawberry ice cream.

"How'd what go? The meeting with Kosei?"

Yuzu looks away from the glowing sunset for a split second. Yuya nods.

"Well… Not at all how I expected, that's for sure."

"Was he still saying all that-"

"No, actually. He practically got down on his knees and apologized." Yuzu eats a delicious spoonful of her favorite ice cream. The first time she's enjoyed the cold treat in a while. She can only do this with Yuya being so near.

"As he should have." Yuya scoffs.

"The school told him what happened. So now Kosei knows the truth."

"That doesn't change the circumstances!" Yuya responds. "So what if things were different. He shouldn't have said that stuff in the first place!" Yuya angrily bites down on his ice cream cone and groans in pain when the cold is too much for his teeth. Yuzu can't help but laugh. "Great minds think alike. That's what I told him. But… Either way I knew he really was sorry. He even offered to help stop the rumors."

Yuya snorts. "Oh solution of the century." He rolls his eyes.

"Now you're scaring me." Yuzu laughs again. "That's exactly what I told him!"

"Seriously? It seems like common knowledge if you ask me." Yuya shrugs.

"Well I guess not. Anyway, I told him to forget about the rumors. I just wanted him to make sure that he put a stop to any rumor that involved you or Gongenzaka because at that end of the day that is what sent me over the edge in the first place."

Yuya doesn't miss this critical piece of information Yuzu has given him. He tries to use this as a gateway to his next question.

"Why is that?"

"Why is what?" She pretends that she doesn't hear him at first.

"I mean, I know you get defensive when people mess with your friends. But with this… They were saying way worse stuff about you. What was that about?"

Instead of answering, Yuzu just eats another spoonful of strawberry. This bite is a little colder than the previous. It doesn't make her feel good.

"I can't say…." Yuzu mumbles. She really doesn't know how to explain this. It's true, Yuzu doesn't tolerate people making fun of her friends, but that's probably only about 10% of the reason she was ready to rip Kosei's head off.

"I… I don't know how to explain it." Yuzu has grown even quieter. "It just really got to me." She sighs. "You know when he asked about…" Keep breathing, Yuzu. "That… Taking me from behind comment."

"Yeah." Yuya feels extremely guilty for making his friend so uncomfortable. But she's willing to talk to him, so he'll listen now and try to make it up to her later.

"Th-that's how it h-happened." She drops her ice cream and the plastic bowl rolls across the patio floor. She brings her hands to her face. Calm down. Calm down. "That was how he hurt me… From behind." She's never told anyone this, let alone Yuya.

For the first time since these anxiety attacks started, Yuzu is able to calm herself before it gets any worse.

"Are you okay?" Yuya asks, worried and even more guilty than before.

"Yeah. I'm fine, i'm fine." Yuzu is still catching her breath. "That's not the reason I lost it." She admits.

"Huh?" Yuya is thrown off guard.

"It's because he said it was you! How could he say that?! How could he… Why would anyone even assume… I can't." She isn't panicking but she still feels insane emotions overwhelming her.

"I told you! I _told_ you that you didn't hurt me! You would never…" she can't control the sobbing. "Why did he say that?!" She cries.

Yuya sits and listens to Yuzu vent with a heavy heart. It's the worst feeling in the world seeing her in this much pain.

"Hey, it's alright." Yuya forgets about his melted ice cream and moves to sit next to Yuzu. He puts an arm around her. "We both know the truth. That's all that matters." He says quietly to her. Hearing Yuya say this is actually the most comforting statement he could make. 'We know the truth. That is all that matters.' It comforts her but it also makes her guilty. He knows a portion of the truth. He knows he didn't hurt Yuzu, but he's a lot more involved than he's been lead to believe. Yuzu has to remind herself that this is the better alternative. She can't have Yuya hating himself for something he had no control over. She's noticing slight cloud cover in the sunshine of her mind. It will remain as long as the full truth is hidden. Yuzu will deal with the clouds forever if need be.

"Check out the sunset, Yuzu." He recaptures her attention. "Remember when we were little, and we used to look every day to see who could find a new color?"

"We were such idiots." Yuzu says quietly. Her eyes are still teary but she's smiling. "We could never remember all the colors we found and basically started over every single day." They share a laugh. It feels good to laugh with him. It feels normal.

"I'm sorry for making you relive all of that, Yuzu. I guess my curiosity got the best of me." He really didn't want to upset her, and regrets the fact that he did. "It was a dumb question anyway." He shakes his head.

"To be honest, i'm okay with it." Yuzu looks at her best friend.

"Really?"

"Yeah." She smiles. "My goal moving forward is to try and talk more about what's going on with me. I've realized that keeping it all to myself isn't helpful at all."

"Well, that's great! I'm glad you're willing to talk because you know me, I'll always listen." He smiles, feeling somewhat at ease from what she said.

"You're the best, Yuya."


	9. Chapter 9

This chapter is like super short. Like _super_ short. I'm debating whether or not to post another one today.

* * *

"Welcome back, Yuzu oneechan!" The three junior you-show duelists welcome her with a new handmade banner and cupcakes baked with Ayu Chan's love.

"Good to finally be back! Ayu chan those cupcakes smell amazing!"

"They're your favorite! Chocolate with dark chocolate frosting." Ayu flashes an adorably sweet smile as she hands her best made cupcake to Yuzu.

"Mmm my mouth is already watering!"

She bites into the sweet treat and almost cries from how delicious it is. "Ayu Chan… This is amazing. Yuya! Come try this!" Yuzu ushers him over when he returns from the boys locker room. "Try what?"

"This piece of heaven that Ayu Chan made." She takes another bite of her cupcake before handing it to him. They always ate and drank behind each other as young kids. It's a habit neither of them really grew out of.

Yuya laughs and takes the cupcake Yuzu has awkwardly placed in his face. "You know I'm not a huge chocolate fan, right?" He hesitates.

"Shut up, eat it, and prepare to be converted to the dark side. The dark chocolate side." Yuzu raises her eyebrows.

He reluctantly takes a small bite and can't control himself when he takes another. His excitement can't really be understood because of his full and fairly chocolatey mouth.

"What'd I say?" Yuzu pokes him. "Now gimme." She snatches her decadent dessert from the unsuspecting redhead. "Mine was made special. Get your own." She can't hold her glare for long. Chocolate makes her tastebuds happy, which in turn makes her very happy.

She sinks her teeth in yet again. "You don't know how much I needed this, Ayu Chan. Bless your soul." Yuzu hugs the young girl.

The principal enters the lounge to find all of his students hyped on the delicious chocolate treat. "What's the meaning of this?" He asks.

Yuya, Tatsuya and Futoshi immediately stop their game of lava and hide their sticky fingers behind their backs.

"I… I made cupcakes for everyone since Yuzu oneechan is finally back." Ayu looks at Shuzo with big round eyes.

"Is that so?" Shuzo crosses his arms. His expression is rather stern.

"Uh… I'm sorry if I might have disrupted class." The young girl hangs her head.

"Where's my cupcake?"

"We saved one for you and Yoko Obaasan."

"Did you really?"

Ayu nods and hands the principal a cupcake.

His eyes widen in surprise when he takes a bite and they all hear a muffled cry of delight.

"Carry on." He says after taking another bite. "Class will start soon, but we'll have half a day because I know some of us won't be able to focus with this much sugar in our bodies." He looks at the three boys.

"After today's lesson we can pick up some milk to wash down these cupcakes and continue celebrating Yuzu's return to You-Show." Shuzo's smile lingers on his daughter for a little while longer.

* * *

"I'll go!" Ayu volunteers to go to the minimart down the street for milk and other sweets after class is over.

"I'll tag along." Yuzu says, her taste buds still dancing with happiness.

"No way! This is all for you!" Yuya exclaims. "I'll go with her. With my sugar high, we'll probably make it back in half the time."

Yuzu rolls her eyes. "Fine. But you guys better hurry up. Get my ice cream too, while you're at it." She hands him a bill to pay for the goodies. Yuya doesn't accept. "This is all on us today. I'm taking care of it."

"Sakaki Yuya take this now." Yuzu growls.

"Morality forces me to decline. Guys grab her! Come on Ayu lets go!" Yuya grabs the girl's hand.

"You're on my list, Sakaki." Yuzu says as Yuya and Ayu bolt out of the room.

"Yuya oniichan, you've been talking with Yuzu since she's been gone, right?" Ayu asks him once they're out of you show and on their way to the minimart.

"Yeah. At first it was mostly just for homework, because she didn't really feel like talking. But as time went on, she started feeling well enough to let me in more." Yuya answers.

"Is she okay? I've been so worried. They never told us what was wrong." Her voice cracks as she hangs her head with sadness.

"What happened is actually something only Yuzu knows. She's kept it private and I think it's best that way. We know that she got hurt, and it did really serious damage. Our concern is to make sure that she's okay, and do what we can to help her recover."

"I was so scared that it was something awful. I don't know why anyone would hurt someone so nice and caring." Ayu wipes away a tear. "But…" She takes in a deep breath. "Like you said, we need to make sure she's okay. I want to do anything I can to help Yuzu oneechan get better." Ayu sounds determined. "That's right, way to focus!" Yuya praises her as he holds open the door at the minimart.

"Alright let's do this. To the dairy section!"

Yuya and Ayu make quick work of their store trip and are soon on their way back to You-Show again.

"Where are you two headed in such a hurry?"

* * *

"Yuzu, help me with something." Shuzo walks up to her.

"Sure, Otosan, what's up?" She's quick to notice his somber expression.

"I need you to remind me where we keep Ayu Chan's contact information. We have to call her parents."

"Otosan, what happened?" Yuzu can't breathe.

"Yuya just took her to the emergency room."

* * *

So this is going to take a turn for the angsty and kinda suspenseful. I think I'm going to go ahead and post the next chapter but sorry, that one also has a bit of a cliffhanger. Thanks for reading everybody I really appreciate it!


	10. Chapter 10

Here we are, next chapter. Didn't want to make you guys suffer too much. Enjoy!

* * *

"Ayu Chan, try to calm down." Yuya says for what must be the 15th time.

"I want mama!" The child has been screaming and crying since her arrival.

"Mama is coming Ayu chan, just let the nurse make sure you're not hurt."

"No! No stay away! I want my mama!" Ayu fights everyone who tries to come near her.

"She's on her way, mama is on her way." Yuya can't even feel his own pain right now. He's so worried about Ayu. "I promise, she'll be here soon, Ayu."

"Okay, try sitting her in your lap to see if she'll calm down. I just need to make sure there aren't any injuries I missed. It shouldn't take long." The nurse says to Yuya. She doesn't seem at all frustrated by Ayu's constant screaming.

Ayu fights him at first but Yuya is able to sit down on the exam table with her in his lap.

"Mama!"

"She's coming." Yuya whispers to her. Ayu's struggle lessens significantly now that Yuya is holding her, much to everyone's relief. She doesn't stop crying, but she stops pushing away the nurse who is trying to examine her.

A pained Yelp is heard from the small girl seconds later.

"Tenderness in the lower left abdomen." The nurse notes aloud.

"Ayu, honey, I'm just going to take a look."

"No. No don't look." Ayu is quieter.

"I just need to make sure nothing is wrong." The nurse's voice is gentle. "Hold your friend's hand. It'll be over soon, I promise."

Yuya takes Ayu's trembling hand and let's her squeeze as hard as she needs to.

Ayu gasps and flinches. "Owww don't touch it!" She whines. "That hurts!"

"We'll get some ice for it, okay? That'll make you feel better." The nurse says to Ayu, then she looks at Yuya. "I'll bring her an ice pack. I'll be back to check your injuries."

"No" Yuya shakes his head. "I'm fine."

"I'll be back." The nurse says again.

"Ayu..." Yuya whispers. "It's going to be okay, I promise. It's going to be okay." Yuya whispers to her and holds her tight. "It's over now. No one else is going to hurt you."

"I want mama." Ayu whimpers. "Mama…" She squeezes Yuya's hand again.

 _A/N For readers getting the wrong idea about Ayu sitting in Yuya's lap lemme stop you right there. I'm a nurse and this is something we do with young patients who are scared or anxious when visiting with the Doctor. It's typically with a parent (duh) and we usually do this when the kid has to get a shot or something, which scares the crap out of most kids. Ayu is in distress, which is why the nurse suggested this._

* * *

"What happened? Where's my baby?!" Mrs. Ayukawa bursts through the hospital entrance- having run far ahead of the others.

"Excuse me, I was told my daughter was here. Her name is Ayu, she's 10 years old, here's her picture." She bombards the first hospital employee she sees.

"Come with me, we'll find your daughter." The employee is actually a doctor who works on another floor. She was coming down for her regular coffee refuel when the ever frazzled mother ran into her.

"I'm coming, sweetheart." Mrs. Ayukawa mumbles.

* * *

"Please, just leave me alone." Yuya tries to dodge the Doctor. "Stop, you're going to wake her." He can't yell at this doctor for that very reason. "I'm fine!"

"I won't examine you while you hold the child, but you need to tell me what happened so we can treat you both properly." The doctor sits on the chair next to the bed with a small notepad and a pen. "It's better if you talk to me, because then I can relay this report to the police, instead of them interviewing you over and over." She informs. "We try to avoid putting younger patients through that."

Yuya sighs in defeat. "Alright. But I'm telling you, I'm fine." Yuya knows that isn't true. He just doesn't want anyone touching him right now. Not for a while.

"Me and Ayu were walking back to school from the minimart when these… I thought they were students from LDS but I'm really not sure." He starts.

"How many of them were there?"

"Three? Four? I don't… I'm not sure." Yuya shakes his head.

"That's alright, what happened after that?" She moves the conversation forward.

"I… I don't remember much…" He looks at the young girl, and then back up. "But I remember the looks in their eyes. I didn't hesitate, I just… I grabbed Ayu and took off running…"

"Yuya?"

"What?" He flinches and holds Ayu closer.

"You started running. What happened next?"

 _Oh no you don't._

 _You-Show needs to learn its place._

 _Bring the brat here boys._

 _Make sure he watches this, guys._

The dam in his mind crumbles to pieces and he breaks down in tears. "They pulled her away from me… I think that's when she started crying." Yuya is noticing the gaps in his memory. This just happened. Why is it so hard to recall? "I can't remember… I don't know how, but I got to her and I pushed her to the ground. I… I was trying to shield her from them."

 _Nice try, chump._ _Come here, princess._ _We've got a surprise for you._

 _Yuya oniichan…. I'm scared._

 _Don't listen, Ayu… Don't listen. Close your eyes. Don't look. It'll be over soon._

 _Here's your place you You-Show scum. Right at the bottom of my shoe._

That's when he felt them kicking him. That's when he was seeing stars from being kicked in the head over and over. And over. And over. Ayu's shriek of pain sent a jolt through his entire body. They were aiming for _her_. Yuya was in their way.

"I was just trying to make sure they didn't get to her." Yuya whispers. He continues to cry and wraps his arms more securely around the sleeping Ayu. "I don't understand why they were trying to hurt her. She's so little. She's just a junior, they shouldn't even know she exists." He's so confused. Ayu is just a little girl. "I've dueled LDS before, some of them know me. But Ayu? Why would they go out of their way to hurt a little girl like that?" She's so sweet and innocent. Even at her worst Yuya can't think of a single reason anyone would want to hurt a child the way they tried to hurt Ayu.

The doctor notices Yuya bring up his trembling hand and cover Ayu's eyes.

"Don't look… don't listen to them." She hears Yuya whisper. "It'll all be over soon."

* * *

"If you'll wait right here, I'm going to find your daughter's doctor and then we'll find out which room she's in." Mrs. Ayukawa is lead to the emergency dept. waiting room. Shuzo, Yoko, Yuzu and the you-show juniors are already there.

"Did you find out anything?" Yoko is the first to speak to Mrs. Ayukawa after the doctor leaves.

"Nothing. Of all people I pulled aside a dermatologist on their break. But bless her, she's trying to help find my baby."

"Where's your husband?"

"He had a work assignment out of town. It'll take him hours to get back home." Mrs. Ayukawa leans forward and places her head in her hands.

"What did Yuya tell you guys?" She mumbles her question.

"He didn't sound so good. I could only make out, hospital. He kept saying it over and over." Shuzo answers. "Hospital, hospital." Yuya sounded afraid. Shuzo fears the boy might have also been hurt.

"What was he thinking?" Yuzu fumes. "How could he let this happen?"

"Yuzu, I'm not sure Yuya is to blame here." Shuzo doesn't fail to notice how on edge his daughter is. "Let's wait until we find out what happened."

Yuzu groans in annoyance. "I can't believe this." She says under her breath before continuing her pacing.

* * *

"Yuya, I think you may have a concussion." The doctor completes her notes and sets the pad aside.

"Please, don't…. Just leave me alone." Yuya repeats. "Is Ayu chan okay?"

"She'll be fine. She has a small bruise on her stomach, and she'll be sore for a while, but she's going to be alright. She'll be alright because of you, Yuya."

Yuya sighs in relief. "Okay. Okay." He shuts his eyes again. His head is pounding. There's a constant ringing in his ears. "Okay." He feels himself nodding off.

"Yuya, try to stay awake." The doctor says loudly. "Don't fall asleep." He feels a hand on his arm.

" _Don't_ touch me!" He jumps back. Ayu jolts awake.

"Mama? Where's mama?" She mumbles.

"Almost here, Ayu chan… Almost…" Yuya whispers to her. His hold on Ayu loosens until she almost falls forward. The doctor catches Ayu before she falls off the bed.

Yuya has passed out.

The doctor checks for a pulse. It's slow but still there. She'll have to do a proper assessment as soon as possible. She presses the call button to request more assistance.

"Their parents are here." A nurse pokes their head into the curtained area.

"Mama?" Ayu perks up.

"Let's go see mama." The doctor says quietly.

"Here she is, she's all set and can go. I'll go speak to her mother in just a moment." She carefully places Ayu in the nurse's arms as other personnel arrive.

The young boy begins to shake violently and he can be heard crying in pain.

"Yuya!" The doctor runs to him. She presses the code button on the back of his bed and turns him on his side.

* * *

"Mama!" Ayu is finally reunited with her mother. "Ayu! Baby, I was so worried!"

"Excuse me… Is there any word on my son? Yuya, the boy who came with her." Yoko asks.

" _Code blue. Emergency department."_

"I'm sorry, ma'am. There's a situation. I'll make sure you're updated as soon as possible." The nurse runs to the back.

* * *

"He's seizing"

"Push ativan."

"Can you find a pulse?"

"No… No pulse detected."

"Starting cpr!"

* * *

"Shuzo… Tell me… Tell me that 'situation' wasn't my son. Tell me it's not Yuya." Yoko looks at the spot where the nurse was just standing. "Tell me my son is okay."

Shuzo walks over and takes her hand.

"Shuzo tell me my son is okay!" Yoko yells.


	11. Chapter 11

Here we are with next next chapter. Believe it or not, the story is almost finished. Not counting this one, there are about 5 more chapters to go. These next few are a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but I hope you guys stick around till the end!

* * *

"We've got a pulse."

"BP dropping back to normal range."

"We got him back, everyone."

"Inform the mother."

* * *

"Ayu Chan, what happened?" The girl's mother asks her.

"I don't know…" Ayu responds and curls up in her mother's lap. "It happened so fast."

"Ayu," Yuzu approaches her. "Yuya didn't hurt you at all did he?"

"Yuzu, what kind of question is that?!" Shuzo asks.

"Ayu, answer me!" Yuzu's harsh tone makes Ayu flinch.

"No…. Yuya oniichan… He protected me. I… I think he got hurt because of me." Ayu starts to cry. "He didn't even let me look. He covered my eyes when things got scary." She remembers when he pushed her to the ground and curled his body around her own.

 _Don't you touch her!_

She was confused and frightened but then remembers him whispering,

 _It's going to be okay._

And he placed his hand over her eyes _._

 _Don't look. It's going to be okay._

That's when she realized he was shielding her with his body. Making sure they couldn't get to her.

"They hurt him… I heard Yuya oniichan… He sounded like he was in pain." Ayu cries. "I knew they were trying to hurt me instead, but he didn't let them. When they kicked me, I didn't mean to... but I screamed." The little girl lifts up her shirt to show her belly bruise, then she covers her eyes in shame. "Yuya oniichan kept saying how sorry he was, and that everything was going to be okay." Ayu continues to sob. "Mama! He got hurt because of me!" She buries her face in her mother's shirt. "It's all my fault!" She cries, her voice high pitched and her tone dripping with remorse.

"Ayu chan, don't you think that for a second." Yoko runs a comforting hand through Ayu's red hair. "Yuya protected you because he loves you. He would have done anything to keep you safe. You aren't to blame. It was the people who attacked you who are guilty." She tries to reassure Ayu.

"Okay, sweetheart?"

Ayu nods. "Is Yuya oniichan okay?" Her voice is so tired from screaming and crying.

"They're going to let us know soon." Yoko replies.

"Can I see him, Obasan? Please?" Ayu sits up in her mother's lap.

"We'll see how he's doing first." Yoko replies. They sit and wait in bitter and sad silence.

"Family of Sakaki Yuya." A voice calls out.

"That's us!" Yoko breaks from the group. "I'm his mother. Is he alright?" She practically runs up to the nurse who called out their name.

"Your son suffered a severe concussion. Sometimes, when the trauma is severe people have been known to have seizures. Yuya had what we call a grand mal seizure, which are the more violent kind. We were a little worried when we noticed some irregularities with his heart but that quickly went away. He's been admitted and was moved to the pediatric unit and he's being closely monitored."

"Will he be alright?" Yoko is squeezing Shuzo's arm.

"Yes, he will be alright. I'll take you to see him right now. If you'll just come with me." She leads Yoko away from the waiting room. "For now I think only you should come. He might become aggravated if he feels crowded." The nurse warns Yoko.

"We'll be here, Yoko, go ahead." Shuzo gently pushes her toward the nurse.

"I should warn you, he's been very irritable. He didn't allow the doctor to do an exam and the entire time he was awake he refused to let anyone touch him. Since he's been sedated, he seems less on edge, but just barely. I think he's just scared. From what the doctor has told us, Yuya has been through a lot."

Yoko just listens and keeps walking. Her son is back there. He's in pain. He's scared.

"I know this is a lot to take in. The hospital staff is here for you throughout the entire duration of Yuya's stay. If at all you need anything, a blanket, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, we can help. We want Yuya to be alright and back to his old self same as you." She takes Yoko's hand.

"Thank you for all your help." Yoko tries to smile, but can't. She usually has such great composure. It seems to have been thrown out the window along with her sanity.

"It's the room down this hall." They're approaching his room, but something isn't right. There's some kind of commotion. And from what the nurse can tell it's coming from Yuya's room.

"Stay away from me!" Yoko hears her son's voice. He sounds scared and confused. "Don't touch me!"

"Yuya!" Yoko runs to where she hears him. Instead of relaxing upon seeing Yoko, Yuya remains completely tense. He stands near the back wall of his room with what seems to be a sharp instrument in his hand. He's surrounded by doctors and nurses who have been trying to calm him for the past 10 minutes.

"Yuya, it's me. It's Kaasan, sweetheart." Yoko slowly approaches the frightened boy. "No one's going to hurt you, Yuya. I'm here to look after you and keep you safe."

"Where is she? Where'd they take Ayu chan?" Yuya doesn't lower the sharp instrument in his hand. "Is she okay? Is she safe?" His voice cracks as he starts to cry.

"Ayu is safe. She's with her mother. And now you are with yours. Come on, Yuya. Come to Kaasan." Yoko steps closer and holds her arms out. "You're safe now."

Yuya drops the sharp object and runs to his mother. He sobs in her arms- finally releasing all the pain and fear that he's held onto throughout this whole ordeal.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Kaasan is here."

"I know you're hurt, I know."

"Let it all out, just let it out." She whispers helpful and encouraging words. "You're safe."

He cries himself to sleep. Yoko carries yuya- her baby- to his bed and covers him up.

"I'm sorry you're in so much pain, Yuya." Yoko strokes his green bangs. "All you do is try to make others happy, my sweet boy, that's all you ever wanted to do." She doesn't even bother to wipe her tears. "I hope that you remember how much you mean to us. How treasured your smile is."

Yuya stirs slightly, but doesn't wake.

"Rest, my sweet boy. I'll be back soon." She kisses his forehead.

"So he's going to be fine?" Yoko manages to pull aside the pediatrician treating Yuya.

"Yes ma'am he should be. After concussions, people can be irritable and very easily agitated. Considering how he might have acquired his injuries, I don't think it's a surprise that he was behaving as he did. We'll keep him overnight to monitor him and you are more than welcome to stay with him." He answers all of her questions.

"Thank you so much." Yoko is finally able to breathe. That frightened boy in the room didn't seem like her son. There was no light in his eyes. No happiness. "Once he heals, he'll be back to normal right? He won't be this aggressive?"

"As far as concussions go, the recovery time is different for everyone. If Yuya is generally not an aggressive boy then you know that the concussion is probably still affecting him. If he's still seizing or passing out, just bring him back."

Yoko must appear more afraid than she realizes.

"I can assure that your son is fine. He's a little scared, that's all. He just needs a good night's rest and his mother." He pats Yoko on the shoulder. "If I can answer any more questions, one of the nurses can page me for you."

"Thank you so much."

* * *

"Alright Yuzu, that's enough. Come on, I'm taking you home." Shuzo wanted to stay long enough to find out how Yuya was doing, but Yuzu is getting more irritated by the second. After making it clear she thought this incident was Yuya's fault, Yuzu then went on to claim that his injuries probably weren't even that serious. She wants him to come out here and face everyone and explain what happened and why Ayu Chan was in the middle of it. Nobody understands why she is behaving this way, but when they try to question her, she gives no explanation.

"Fine." Yuzu storms out of the waiting room. She isn't even sure what it is that has her so upset. Chances are Yuya and Ayu just ran into some really shady characters. Chances are Yuya is seriously hurt. There's no doubt in Yuzu's mind that Yuya protected Ayu with his very life. So why is she feeling this way? Why is she angry at him? Why is she convinced he somehow played the role of the bad guy? Yuzu's head has not stopped hurting since the chaos began. When Ayu was brought out and everyone was told she was fine, Yuzu's knees nearly gave out she was so relieved. That should have been the end of it. She knew that whatever happened, the rage had nothing to do with it. Why was- is - she still upset? Yuzu feels more angry than she does guilty right now. But there is plenty of guilt.

"Mrs. Ayukawa, I'm so sorry about this whole situation. I always make sure they're supervised-" Shuzo starts. Mrs. Ayukawa just shakes her head. "I'm going to stay here with Yoko San, I'll let you know how he's doing."

Shuzo sighs. "What about Ayu? She's had such a stressful day."

"My sister is coming to get her. Ayu's father simply couldn't get here with all the traffic. So I just told him to pick her up from my sisters." She shakes her head.

"Contact me when you know something. Again, I'm so sorry about all of this."

"Yuya saved my little girl's life. I can never thank him enough for what he did. But now my child gets to go home and his mother has to stay here at this hospital with him. Don't apologize anymore, at least not to me." She owes so much to Yuya. Too much.

"Thanks for keeping us posted." Shuzo attempts to smile but simply can't at a time like this. He says his goodbyes to Ayu and then heads out.

"Mama."

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Can I go see Yuya oniichan?"

"He needs to rest, baby. Emmi Oba will be here soon anyway. You can see him tomorrow."

"Mama, I need to see him." Ayu has a feeling that she can't really explain. Something is telling her they both need this. She wants to know he's alright, and to let him know that she is alright. She wants to thank him for keeping her safe, even to the point of letting them hurt him instead.

"Not tonight, Ayu." Her mother shakes her head.

"Is there an Ayu here?" A woman's voice calls out in the waiting room. "One of the patients is asking for her."

"She's here." Ayu's mother answers and turns around.

"If you'll come with me, I think she should come see the patient." The attendant sounds a little worried.

"Is it Yuya oniichan? Is he okay?" Ayu cries.

"I think he just needs to see that you're okay. He's afraid that you're still hurt apparently."

* * *

"No! Where is she? What did you do with her?!" Yuya yells. "Get that away from me?!" He pushes away the nurse attempting to prepare his IV.

"This will help calm you down, Yuya." The last thing she wants is to have him restrained.

"Yuya, I asked if we could bring Ayu in here to see you." Yoko tries to tell him. He doesn't seem to hear anything anyone is saying.

"Y-Yuya oniichan?" A barely audible voice joins the mix. "Yuya?" She sounds on the verge of oniichan's skin is pale and sweaty. She can see the bruises on the side of his head. That's where they must have hit him. He sounds like he's been crying all day. He sounds so afraid. Ayu has never seen Yuya this way. It's a little scary, but also very sad. Where's his smile?

Yuya turns to face the door. There she is. Aside from appearing upset, it doesn't look like she's been hurt. She's okay.

"Ayu Chan…" _She's okay. They didn't get to her. She's safe._

"I'm okay, Yuya oniichan. Thanks to you." She remains in the doorway. Yoko takes her hand and guides her forward. "Look, Yuya. Ayu Chan is just fine."

"I'm okay, I promise."

"Ayu Chan, give Yuya oniichan a hug so you can go back to your parents." Yoko tells her.

"Yuya oniichan? Are you going to be okay?" Ayu is standing directly in front of him. Yuya just nods as he wipes away fresh tears. He slides off his bed slowly and gets on his knees in front of her. "Does it hurt you?" Yuya whispers to Ayu. She screamed. He knows she wasn't left unmarked. Somehow Ayu knows what he is referring to. She lifts the bottom of her shirt just enough to reveal the dark bruise. Yuya takes her hand and pulls it away from her shirt. He rests his head on her shoulder and starts to cry harder. I couldn't protect you. I tried. I tried so hard. That's my fault. I did that to you. "I'm sorry, Ayu."

Ayu places her little hands on his shoulders and gently pushes him back until they're face to face again. She wipes his tears and smiles one of her adorable smiles. "Thank you, Yuya oniichan, for saving me." Ayu takes his hand.

Yuya shakes his head and leans forward until their foreheads are touching. He still doesn't speak. He places cold trembling hands on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry you got hurt, Yuya oniichan." Tears stream down her face as she looks into his sad red eyes. "I'm so sorry." She sobs. "It's all my fault. They hurt you because of me." She feels the guilt in her stomach. It makes her feel terrible.

Ayu lets him pull her into a hug. "Don't say that, Ayu chan." He holds her close and whispers so quietly the others probably don't hear it. "I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. Anything to make sure you're alright." And he means it. If he had to go through this all a second time to protect her he would. When they pull away, he plants a kiss on her forehead. It's light but so full of love. Yuya would never be ashamed to admit he's adopted the juniors as his siblings. Being an only child, it just felt right. It filled that void he didn't know was there at all. They're as good as his brothers and sister. It's his job to look after them. To protect them. To keep them happy and make sure they smile. That's _his_ job. And he loves it more than anything.

"It's going to be okay, Yuya oniichan. Just remember to smile." Ayu says quietly. "That's what you always tell us." She takes his hand. "Smile, Yuya oniichan." Ayu kisses his cheek. "I'll bake you something and bring it to you tomorrow, only if you smile." The incentive does cause the ends of Yuya's mouth to turn slightly upward. It's as close to a smile as she'll get, but Ayu will take it.

"Come on Ayu chan, let's go back to mama." Yoko says to the young girl. "Yuya will be better tomorrow." She whispers. Yuya holds on to her hand as she walks away but is able to let go when she gets too far.

"Bye, Yuya oniichan." Ayu turns back and waves. He returns the wave with more of a smile on his face this time.

"Here we go, Yuya. Can I put your IV back now?" The nurse knew she could wait for the adorable little encounter to end before continuing. Yoko helps him back into bed and Yuya nods once again, holding his arm out. He doesn't even attempt to hide the fear in his expression. Yuya never liked shots, and the last one hurt like crazy.

"Don't look, okay. It'll be easier that way." The nurse says as she dons a fresh pair of gloves.

"Look at me, Yuya." Yoko says quietly. "Kaasan is here." Round and frightened Crimson eyes stare into hers. "It's going to be okay." He grimaces and tries to fight back tears when the needle punctures his skin. "Kaasan." He whines. Yoko sits on the bed and takes his free hand. "It's okay, baby. It's almost over." She whispers. "You're almost there."

He feels sleepy all of a sudden. It must be the medication. His eyelids are so heavy. He's exhausted anyway. Maybe he should just….

* * *

Not really a cliffhanger but I have to tell you guys, next chapter is a doozy. So brace yourselves. Thanks to everyone who is taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it.


	12. Chapter 12

Hey everybody. Just one announcement for you: 1) This chapter (and only this chapter) is rated M for violence and non graphic rape. Just thought I should warn you all, it's intense. I guess you can consider this the active climax. Enjoy!

* * *

He's sitting on the couch in the You-Show lounge. There's no more pain in his body but there's something else. There's a burning rage in the center of his chest. It burns more and more until he feels the need to push something over. Someone interrupts his tantrum. Yuya can feel the rage smile with sadistic pleasure. Now it has someone to take out all its aggression on instead of measly furniture.

"Yuya, are you alright?" Yuzu peaks her head in.

 _Go away! What are you doing here?!_

She can't hear him and he realizes this he approaches her he silently yells again for her to stay away from him. This is is dangerous.

Nothing.

"You can fight this, Yuya. You're stronger. Just remember how dueling makes you feel. How it makes people smile."

 _Yuzu just go!_

He knows what she is trying to do. But he also knows that this rage makes him deaf to the world.

 _I'm not going to listen! You're not safe!_

He doesn't want to hurt her.

A pained gasp from Yuzu as he grabs her by her neck and pushes her against the door. She's looking down at him as he lifts her off the ground, still firmly grasping her neck, making it even harder for her to breathe. Is this really happening?

"Yuya…" She whimpers. "Come back." She takes hold of the hand that squeezes her neck. "Please…" He hears her struggling for breath. A part of him that he doesn't recognize is satisfied by this. Excited by her struggle. The sensation he feels is oddly pleasing. He wants more.

 _Let her go, you monster!_

He does let her go. Yuzu falls to the ground and catches her breath.

"You're…. You're not Yuya."

She reaches for the doorknob and tries to leave him be. He can tell she regrets coming in here. He grabs her and pushes her against the wall again, his forearm pressing on her windpipe.

 _Stop hurting her!_

Only Yuya can hear his protests. It's driving him crazy. He feels his right hand form a fist and hopes and prays that it's nothing. It's worse than his worst fear. He hits her not once but 5 times. _Five_ times. Twice in the chest and three times in the stomach. He can see her trying to hide her tears and stifle her cries of pain. She can barely stand afterwards, but he keeps her upright.

 _Stop!_

Yuya can't look away. He can't stop this. Can only watch in horror. He pulls her towards him and then throws her to the ground.

"Yuya! Come back to me, please!" Yuzu tries to pick herself up from the floor. He tackles and straddles her, effectively pinning her to the ground. Yuya knows he's not this strong. Yuzu used to sit on him and trap him just for fun. This just doesn't make sense. It's all wrong.

Yuzu just cries, no longer trying to hide her pain. "You're hurting me… Yuya… Please…"

She shrieks when out of nowhere Yuya bites down on her neck. The more she struggles, the harder he bites. This part of him he hates becomes even more excited. It desires more.

He finally speaks. "Quiet!" Yuya growls at her.

Yuzu doesn't listen. She continues to cry, her fear getting the better of her. Yuya leans down and bites her in the exact same spot once more. She screams and her shoes can be heard pounding on the floor, seeing as her feet are the only part of her body she can move. Her shrill cries of pain annoy him. They make it harder to enjoy this.

"I said QUIET!" He shakes her entire body. Yuzu heeds his warning this time.

"Please… Just let me go. I'll leave you alone." Yuzu whimpers. "Just let me go." Her voice trembles.

 _Let her go!_

 _Let her go!_

He still goes unheard by all. They're both quiet for some time. All that can be heard is Yuzu's labored breathing as she attempts to cry without making noise. No way is she going to make a sound and risk angering him further. Yuya bores into her with his dark, almost inhuman glare. Yuzu can't seem to look and turns her head to avoid his frightening gaze.

 _Yes! Please… Please don't look at me._

Without much warning he flips her onto her stomach and lifts up her dark magenta skirt. When she cries and attempts to struggle with him, he hits her lower back, the hardest he's hit her yet. Yuzu's entire body jolts and she screams even louder, her voice twisted with so much pain. As opposed to before, this scream seems to give him more life. Further excitement. He slides her underwear down past her knees and starts to feel her body.

"No! Please Yuya! Stop!" Yuzu's voice is laced with downright panic and confusion. "Please stop! Come back to me!"

He's never craved anything more than this before. He must have her. He must. He undoes his belt and unzips his trousers.

 _No… No no no!_ _What's happening?!_

"Yuya?! What are… What is th-"

He places a hand over her mouth. The rage has its way. It hurts her. Rapes her. It is rough as it destroys a young girl's body, and cruel as it enjoys the action. Even with his hand clamped down on her mouth, her screams still ring in his ears. Her pained and fearful cries echo throughout the entire room. When she bites him he uses the same hand to smack her. He grabs her pink hair and hits her head against the floor. Then he continues to have his way.

Yuya witnesses himself destroy his best friend.

* * *

He's jolted awake in the middle of the night. He tries to stay quiet as he holds in his screams. Yuya rips the tape on his arm with one try. He pulls out his IV and bites his lip to keep from crying out and waking Yoko. He throws the bed sheets back and quietly gets out of bed. He is able to tiptoe to the bathroom and shut the door before losing all composure and collapsing in front of the toilet. Having not eaten much recently, Yuya merely dry heaves as he rests both hands on the toilet seat. His body has nothing; no food, no energy. The nausea and the urge to vomit is so overwhelming. Once the gagging stops, Yuya takes a deep breath and moves back to lean on the shower door.

What just happened? His dream…. No, wait… His nightmare. Somehow Yuya knows it's more than that. It was a memory, but it didn't belong to him. No, Yuya knew instantly that the memory belonged to a certain rage filled entity within him. This rage… This thing that Yuya can't control or fight… This is Yuzu's attacker. This rage raped her, which means…

"It was me…" He says aloud as he pieces it together. "I did this." He pushes back the hair that's stuck to his cold and sweaty forehead.

 _You made me rape my best friend?_

He wishes that for once and one time only, the rage would answer him. He wants to know why this happened. How it could have happened. Of all things he's done that was beyond his control, this is the was his biggest fear. Only… It's surpassed his biggest fear. He was just afraid of hurting anyone he cared about. But with Yuzu, she wasn't just hurt, she was torn to pieces. Yuya is responsible for that. For her pain, her hunger, her cold, her frustration, her unraveling….

His heart is pounding in his chest. He can't breathe. _Of all the things you've made me do!_

He can't even imagine how something like this could be possible. She's his best friend, and Yuzu has always been the tougher of the two. There's not one aggressive bone in Yuya's body. But there's the rage. This rage is all aggression. All fight. All evil.

"No…" He can't hear himself due to his heart pounding in his ears. "No…." He brings his hands to his head. "NO!"

Yuya can't even pretend that it's not true. He knows without a doubt that this is what happened. Yuzu never left you-show. She tried to calm him when the rage made a sudden appearance. Then when she realized it was hopeless…. He grabbed her by her neck and pinned her to the wall, lifting her clear off the ground. He remembers the shock in her expression. The fear in her eyes. The pain in her voice.

"Yuya… Please."

"NOOOO!" He cries to the top of his lungs. He cries and wails until his mother and the night nurse follow the sound to the bathroom. For the second time that night, Yuya cries himself to sleep in his mother's arms.

The following day, Yuya only speaks long enough to let his mother know he wants no visitors. Not Ayu, not Shuzo, nobody. When Ayu shows up anyway, Yuya hides in the bathroom and doesn't come out until he's sure that she's gone. He can't. Yuya just can't do it. What if he somehow loses control again? What if he did something to hurt anyone else? Yuya wouldn't be able to live with himself. He's hurt one friend. He won't hurt another, especially not after what Ayu has been through. Sweet and innocent little Ayu.

Innocent.

A trait Yuya can no longer lay claim to.

Nor can Yuzu.

It's his own fault.

His erratic behavior confuses everyone, and leaves Yoko feeling more worried than she was yesterday. They decide to keep him one more night.

He speaks to no one and no longer fights the nurses and doctors that poke and prod at him. They can't seem to figure out what's wrong. This dramatic shift in mood and behavior could all just be blamed on the concussion, but somehow they all know there's something more. Something else that he just won't say. Maybe he left out a part of the story? Maybe he wasn't just kicked in the head? They don't know, and Yuya won't say a word. He just lays curled up in his bed, buried in all of the blankets. Yoko swears she hears him crying, but when she asks what's wrong, he gives no answer. He's sent home the following day and is ordered to remain under heavy supervision until he shows some sign of change or improvement.

This continues for some time. Yuya doesn't speak or even acknowledge his mother's presence. He leaves his room only to use the bathroom but even then he waits until Yoko is asleep. He refuses food most of the time, but does take a few bites every now and then. This alarming shift in behavior inclines Yoko to take him to the doctor every week. He goes along with it, but still says nothing.

* * *

In the 4 weeks that have passed since the emergency room, Yuya has lost several pounds. His sunken cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes make him look like an entirely different person. Not to mention the light that has always been noticeable in his eyes is completely dim. He just looks sad. Yoko hasn't seen her son smile since before the incident.

Every day feels worse than the one before it.

"Yuya, please." Yoko is on her knees in front of Yuya as he sits on the edge of his bed. "Please, talk to me." She takes his hands and gasps. "Baby, you're so cold." She takes one of his blankets and wraps it around his thin frame.

"I'll be back, Yuya." He's so cold. Yoko throws a blanket into the dryer and then heads to the kitchen to make him something warm to drink. She returns to his room to see him staring blankly out the window. She covers his thin, shivering shoulders with the heated blanket and sits next to him on the bed.

"Here, drink this. It's not a lot but it should warm you up." She brings the small steaming cup to his lips. Yuya turns his head away from it.

"Just take one sip Yuya. Look how small the cup is."

* * *

She feels like she is losing him with each passing day. Each passing moment.

"Yuya" Yoko sits next to him on the bed and hugs him close. "Just talk to me."

Nothing.

"Here baby, drink." Yoko holds a cup filled with a protein shake to Yuya's lips. He tolerates them pretty well, especially considering that he won't eat much else. He slowly starts to drink.

"Good job, Yuya." Yoko wipes his mouth with a towel.

"Get some rest, alright?"

Yoko gently lays Yuya down and covers him up with just the sheet. Usually he sweats heavily at night. She knows he is plagued with nightmares but he never talks after his cries wake him from his unrestful sleep.

Yoko fears she'll never find out what's wrong. She may never see her boy smile again, and that thought breaks her heart.

* * *

"Yuya…" Yoko enters his room carrying his lunch, another protein shake and a glass of water. "Baby, how are you?"

She knows he won't answer.

"Come on, time for lunch." Yoko sets the water and shake on his nightstand before sitting him upright. He just lets her. He never struggles. Sometimes she wishes he would.

"I have a vitamin for you today. I know you don't like them, but it's so you don't get sick anymore."

No matter what, she can't help her little boy calm his stomach. He can't seem to stop vomiting. She knows after watching him suffer that he's not doing this to himself. But even after many visits to the hospital, no one can understand why he is going through this.

"Alright sweetie, let's get the hard part out of the way." Yoko grabs the large vitamin and his glass of water. She brings the pill to his lips and prays that they'll part for her. She breathes a sigh of relief when they do. "This should calm your stomach down, my sweet." She says as she holds the glass of water to his mouth next. There's a slight grimace in his expression when he swallows the pill. Yuya never liked pills. Yoko didn't expect that to change. She makes sure he downs the entire glass of water before moving it away.

"Time for the easier part." Yoko smiles weakly. "Here you go, baby. Drink up." Yoko has started to use straws, but only for the shakes. The thicker consistency is easier for him to choke on. Smaller sips are best.

When he finishes his shake Yoko prepares to take her leave, but not before getting a good look at her boy. This… Shell of her boy. Her once happy and excitable baby.

"Kaasan is here for you, Yuya." She hugs him and holds back tears when he doesn't hug her back. He hasn't since the hospital.

"Get some rest." She kisses his forehead. "I love you." She leaves him be.

* * *

Yoko hears feet pounding on the floor in the middle of the night. It must be Yuya running to the bathroom again. Nothing else can cause him to move with such urgency. Yoko untangles herself from her blankets easily. It's not like she's been woken from a restful sleep. She hears him groaning in pain and breathing heavily as she quietly leaves her room.

"Yuya?" Yoko rubs her eyes and tries to adjust to the brightness of the bathroom light. He's started to cry.

"It'll be alright sweetie." She kneels behind Yuya and rubs soothing circles on his back. He retches and his body jerks forward to expel the remaining contents of his stomach.

"Gomen…" He mumbles. "Kaasan…"

It's the only time he speaks. To apologize to her and Yoko hates it. No child should apologize for things out of their control. She knows he is just afraid and confused. He can't help this, but he still feels the need to say he's sorry.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay." Yoko whispers. She wets a small towel with cool water and wipes his forehead, neck, and arms.

Even though he has so little energy and so little sustenance, more is forced out of his exhausted body. He continues his sobbing. These moments cause him so much pain. Yuya's thin frame jerks forward a few more times, but there is nothing more being forced up his throat. He tries to breathe in between his sobs but finds it too challenging. He grips the rim of the toilet with the remainder of his strength, his knuckles white as the porcelain stand itself.

"Gomenasai." Yuya cries. "Gomen."

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay." Yoko wipes his mouth and pulls him away from the toilet and into her motherly embrace.

"Gomen." He whispers. His breathing ragged.

"Shhh." She rocks her trembling child back and forth, placing the cool towel on his perspiring forehead. "I know, baby I know you're sorry. It's okay, Yuya. It's okay." Yoko says quietly.

He cries in her arms, grasping at her nightshirt like it's his last lifeline. No more apologies this time. Just pain. He releases all his pain through the agonized cries. Yoko continues to rock him slowly, whispering words of love and encouragement.

"Come on, let's clean up so we can sleep." Yoko helps Yuya slowly stand to his feet. He's so weak he can barely support his weight, so Yoko holds onto her boy.

Yuya glances up at his reflection and sees dull red eyes stare at him. There is nothing in those eyes. No love. No happiness. No soul. Just pain. Emptiness.

A rapist.

In his eyes lie the memory of that terrible terrible day. The day he ceased to be human and became a monster. He starts to cry again and wants to sink back to the floor but Yoko holds him up.

"You're okay. Everything is okay." Yoko places her hand over his eyes. This has happened before. Seeing his reflection sends him into a fit of tears. On worse occasions he'll have a panic attack. Only somehow Yoko knows it's not as random as it looks. She wishes she knew why he always became so upset by his reflection. But her little boy never talks. All she can do is try to avoid the things that trigger him. Yoko guides his head down so he can no longer gaze into the mirror. She rinses Yuya's mouth with water and mouthwash and turns him away from the mirror as soon as she finishes.

"Come on, baby, let's go to bed."

Yoko makes him walk a few steps in front of her but holds onto him to maintain her support. Yuya turns back to face Yoko, his eyes sad and pleading.

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" She places a gentle hand under his chin. He nods slightly as his eyes begin to water. "It's going to be okay, Yuya." Yoko places her arms around his thin frame. "No more tummy aches today. It's time to rest."

Yuya nods and takes a hold of his mother's nightshirt once again as they start to walk back towards the master bedroom. Yoko tucks him into bed, covering him up with just a thin blanket. He still hasn't let go of her shirt. When she finally climbs into bed, he curls up in her arms. She can feel him trembling as he continues to cry. Yoko gently shushes her little boy.

"Sleep, Yuya." She whispers. "Sleep."

Yoko feels her strength dwindling. She isn't sure how much longer she can watch her child fall apart.

* * *

Thank you to everyone who gave my story a chance. Guys, this is the second to last chapter. Whaaaat? Stay tuned to see how this all concludes.


	13. Chapter 13

I'm sorry! I can't count, you guys. This whole time I thought I had one more chapter left but I was mistaken. This is the second to last chapter. I'm thinking of sparing you guys some misery and putting chapter 14 up tomorrow. Eh... I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

* * *

"Sweetheart, I have some news for you." Yoko enters his room after he's woken from his short nap. "Yuya, I had to pull you from school." She admits.

No response.

"Several of your classmates and teachers have tried to keep you caught up with extra help and tutoring. But since you never…" she doesn't want to sound like anyone blames him. "It's been 7 weeks, and you've just fallen too far behind, Yuya."

No response.

Yoko wishes now more than ever that his father were here. Yusho would have been able to get him to talk. He would have been able to help Yuya in a way that she simply can't.

"I'm so sorry, Yuya." She promised herself she'd never cry in front of her son. Up until today she's kept that promise.

"I'm sorry that I can't help you. I'm really trying… But I know I've failed you. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I hate seeing you in so much pain" She hugs him tighter. "Please, Yuya. You don't have to tell me what's wrong. If you can't talk about it then don't. But, I'm begging you, I need to know that you're going to be alright." She tries to stop crying but simply can't. This is years worth of tears all coming out at this moment.

"Am I ever going to see your smile again?"

Kaasan. Why do you cry for me? I am nothing. I am only capable of hurting people. I've done nothing but hurt you- I've known since the beginning. I hear your sighs heavy with the burden of my care. I've seen the tears you've tried to keep hidden until now. You're always tired, but you never rest. I've felt you shrink as I've wrapped my arms around you night after tireless night. You remain so strong while I can do nothing but crumble before your eyes.

You don't know what I've done. You don't know how cruel I've been to those I hold most dear.

I can only hurt you more, Kaasan.

How can you still love me?

How can you love someone… Something that can't even love itself.

He wasn't expecting himself to shut down like this. It just ended up happening, and Yuya let it. He allowed himself to spiral into this silent depression. Even if he wanted to somehow wake up from this, Yuya knows he no longer can. He started off refusing to speak- now he can't even if he tries.

He doesn't remember how to speak.

He can't recall what it feels like to smile.

He's forgotten his friends.

He only remembers fear. Anger. Pain. Waking up might rekindle those feelings.

He's better off feeling nothing.

The memory of that day has haunted him since his first night in the hospital. It's replayed itself over and over and over. It's the only thing he thinks about during the day. And it's all he dreams about when his eyes finally close at night.

He raped his best friend.

He doesn't deserve to be happy.

He doesn't deserve to ever smile again.

His mother doesn't deserve this either. She's been by his side throughout this whole thing. She's been strong and loving and supportive. He deserves none of her help, but regardless of what he thinks, Yuya knows Yoko will give her soul just to make sure he's okay. He's not worth that much. If anything, he should try to stop for her sake. Yoko hasn't done anything wrong. She should still be happy. She shouldn't have to suffer like this. She won't. Not for much longer. His mind is made up.

This ends today.

Yuya fights the dizziness as he stands. He turns to face his mother.

"Yuya?"

He has so much to tell her, but knows he can't say it. He just leans forward and hugs her.

 _Thank you, Kaasan. I'm sorry for putting you through this._ He wishes his thoughts could reach her.

"Yuya, what's wrong?"

 _Nothing, Kaasan. Not any longer._ He knows she can't hear him. Knows that she can't hear the rusted gears in his mind starting to move again.

"Sweetheart, talk to Kaasan." Yoko pulls away and places her hands on his cheeks. He just shakes his head.

Yuya turns around and searches for his backpack. When he finds it he looks inside for a notebook and a pen. He opens the notebook to a blank page and starts writing.

 _Can't talk._ He shows it to Yoko.

He scribbles something else.

 _I need to see Yuzu._

"Why, Yuya. Tell me what's going on." Yoko can't even process all the emotions she's feeling right now. This is the first reaction she's gotten out of him in nearly two months. The first sign of affection he's shown.

But his words are still missing.

 _This ends today._ He shows his note to Yoko. It makes her heart sink all the way to her feet

"Yuya? What ends today? Tell me now, what do you mean?" She grabs his shoulders.

Yuya writes another notes.

 _I'll explain it all when I get back. But I have to go talk to Yuzu._

It only brings Yoko some peace of mind. She was fearing the worst when he said that it all ended today. She swears her very soul left her body.

"Yuya, you have to understand, I can't let you go out. I'm afraid you'll hurt yourself." Yoko admits.

 _It'll be okay._ He writes.

"No, Yuya! Stop talking like that!" Yoko screams and grabs the notebook from him. "Don't you get it! You sound like you're saying goodbye. Like you're not coming back. Do you know how scared I am right now?!" She shakes him.

"I can't let you go with you saying things like this! I can't lose you too!" Her strength disappears completely as she breaks down in tears a second time. She just pulls her little boy close. "You're all I have left, Yuya. I can't lose you too. Especially not like this." She says quietly.

"Not like this."

Yuya didn't understand that he was coming across like that. She thought he was going to commit suicide. In hindsight Yuya realizes he probably should have been more careful with his wording. Despite the depression, Yuya is still scared stiff of even the mere thought of harming himself. He calls it cowardice. Others would call it a blessing.

 _I'm sorry for scaring you._ Yuya writes.

"Yuya don't apologize. Just promise me that you're not going anywhere. Don't leave us." Yoko looks into her sons eyes. They still look sad. The light is still dim. "We need you."

 _Trust me, I'm too big of a coward to do something like that. I'm staying right here with you, I promise. I'll explain it all when I get back._

"I'll take you, sweetheart."

Yuya knows that protesting is useless. It doesn't matter. So long as he is able to talk to Yuzu.

 _Can you take me somewhere else? I'm going to ask her to meet me._

"Sure, my love." She kisses his forehead.

* * *

He sends Yuzu a text.

 _Yuya: Hey, are you busy?_

 _Yuzu: No, why?_

 _Yuzu: Is everything okay?_

 _Yuya: No._

 _Yuzu: Yuya what's wrong?_

 _Yuzu: Yuya!_

 _Yuya: I need to talk to you. Can you meet me?_

 _Yuzu: Where are you?_

He gets a call from her but ignores it and is quick to let her know,

 _Yuya: Don't call, I can't talk._

 _Yuzu: You're scaring me. What's wrong?_

 _Yuya: Just meet with me, please._

 _Yuzu: Sure, where?_

* * *

Not much of a cliffhanger but, meh. I decided to leave it. I think I might just go ahead and add the next chapter on tomorrow. Thanks to everyone who has tuned in and made it this far. Oh, and as a reply to the Guest review: Hot dog! That was some guess. I'll tell you now that your guess was one of my endings but I ultimately decided against it because I'm a chicken and I like closure lol so I chose a different ending but I was like 1 centimeter away from giving Yuya... another way out of this mess. Thank you for your review and enthusiasm!


	14. Chapter 14

This picks up right where the last chapter left off. Enjoy! I put a lot of time into this chapter. Made a crap ton of revisions and changes until I felt like it was good enough. And even now I don't know if this is the best it can be. I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

She gets a call from Yoko.

"Obaasan, is he alright?" Yuzu has finally made it to the agreed upon meetup point, but it seems she's here first.

"No, Yuzu. But he was adamant about talking to you. I need you to do something for me." Yoko is trying her hardest to maintain composure. "Stay with him. If he tries to separate himself or go off on his own. Please, Yuzu don't let him."

"Obaasan, now you're scaring me too." Yuzu's eyes widen with fear. "What's wrong?"

"He'll have to tell you himself. Just, please keep an eye on my boy." Yoko says no more.

"I will, Obaasan." Yuzu hangs up.

Yuzu watches the waves crash upon the shore as she sits and anxiously awaits Yuya's arrival. The sun is setting on the horizon and the sky looks absolutely beautiful, but she can't focus on the dazzling colors. Yuzu can't even imagine what this could be about.

When she finally got over her irrational anger she wanted to go to him and apologize, only to find out from Yoko that he was even worse than before. He wasn't talking or eating. He had shut down completely and no one knew why. Yuzu must have left him a hundred voice messages and tens times as many texts. Not one reply before today.

A noise interrupts her thoughts. She looks to find a notebook in the sand. It's opened to a page with a short message in big sloppy letters.

 _You lied to me._

"Yuya?" Yuzu turns around. He doesn't even look like himself. He was always typically scrawny but she knew he was healthy. Yuya looks sick now; frighteningly skinny, pale as the moon, with dull and exhausted eyes.

"What do you mean? I lied about what?" Yuzu's eyes narrow with equal parts confusion and suspicion.

He just sits down next to her in the sand, grabs the notebook, and turns the page.

 _It was me._

"Yuya, help me out. I don't know what you're talking about."

He turns the page again. It seems he knew how the conversation would go and thought ahead.

 _I was the one who attacked you._

"Yuya how many times have I told you, you had nothing to do with that?!" Yuzu explodes.

He snatches the notebook from her and furiously scrawls his next message.

 _Don't lie._

"I'm not lying." She has tears in her eyes. "It wasn't you. I already told you this."

He points to his message again. _Don't lie._ And then adds to it,

 _I asked you about this. Why didn't you just tell me the truth?_

"Because it's _not_ a lie!" Yuzu is getting more and more frustrated. "It's the truth! Don't call me a liar!"

Yuya turns the page.

 _The concussion made me remember everything. I know what happened that day. I beat you up and then raped you._

Yuzu's entire body is shaking. "No. No, it wasn't you. I told you the truth."

He flips to the previous page and underlines the two words. _Don't lie._

"Yuya, please stop." She feels cold. So cold.

 _It was me!_

"Yuya if it really had been you to hurt me like this we wouldn't even be here." Yuzu starts and brings her knees to her chest. "Literally the day after it happened, I only felt alright when you stayed with me. You kept me warm, remember?" She looks at him, her face almost as red as the setting sun.

Yuya has no immediate reply.

"You were there for me throughout my entire recovery. You were my shoulder to cry on, my safety blanket, my reminder to smile. Look at this," she shows him her pendant. "I never take this off. Why would I still want- no," She shakes her head. "Why would I _need_ you around if you had been the one to do this to me? Please… Stop saying this. It. _Wasn't._ You." Yuzu takes it a step further by snatching the notebook and pen from him and flipping to the page with the ugly and untrue confession. She angrily scribbles over the entire statement and the proceeds to tear out the page and rip it to shreds.

"Don't play dumb. It's not a good look for you." She says with ice in her tone.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." Yuzu sighs and wipes the tears from her face.

"Listen to me, Yuya. You are and always will be my best friend. My best friend." She was never planning on having this conversation. Yuzu feels her heart pounding in her chest. So many emotions are running wild in her mind.

"I mean… Physically I guess it was you who attacked me, but that's where your involvement ends. It was that darkness inside of you that hurt me. I will kick your butt into next week if you say you are even remotely alike." Yuzu threatens.

"Think about it, you're just too nice. Your idea of 'hurting me' would be... I don't know, a prank or something. Something lighthearted and fun because that's just who you are. No matter what though, it would never even occur to you to do something like that to me- or to anyone for that matter. What that monster did was… You would never go that far. You…You're just not capable of hurting people like that. You're so loving and thoughtful, and protective too." She's referring to the incident with Ayu. She knew he loved kids, but when things got serious he sacrificed everything to make sure that Ayu would come out alright. It's Yuzu's favorite thing about him.

"You're trustworthy and caring. These are traits this monster couldn't possibly have, because they belong to you and only you." She places her hand on his prominently bony shoulder. He's so thin… Yuzu thinks. She just continues on with her pep talk. It feels like things are going well.

"I see a huge difference between you and that darkness, Yuya. You basically disappeared when this happened. He didn't even have your eyes."

He takes the notebook back from her and starts to write something. Yuzu can see the pen shaking in his hands. She can see his shoulders tremble and hears him crying. She takes his hand in hers and then moves closer.

"It's okay, Yuya." She says in a hushed, soothing tone.

He just shakes his head. It's not okay. It's not okay. He did something terrible. He can't believe she's still okay with being anywhere near him.

"Yuya, if there ever comes a time when I don't want you around, I'll let you know. Just remember, that day is never going to come. I need you to help remind me to smile. To keep me warm when I get too cold. To keep me from getting into anymore fights."

He just continues to cry. He was trying to write an apology _,_ but was simply too overwhelmed to concentrate on his words.

"It looks like our roles have switched again." Yuzu sounds like she has a smile on her lips. "It looks like you need a little bit of a helping hand now. I get to resume my position as the friend with all the answers."

 _I don't understand…._ Yuya manages to write.

 _How are you okay with this?_

His hand still trembles as he tries to focus.

 _I stole your innocence. I forced myself on you and caused you so much pain. That's not okay…_

He's so ashamed. She shouldn't be alright with this.

"Because I know you as well as I know myself if not better. You're a good person, Yuya. You love with every bone in your body. I know that if you had even an ounce of control over that darkness, that this would have been different. But you don't, and that's not your fault."

 _No. Yuzu it is my fault. I'm the one who hit you. I'm the one who did all those things._

Yuzu takes his pen away.

"You've got it all wrong. _You_ didn't do any of that." Yuzu's words are met with a look of confusion.

"You and I mean Yuya-" she points at him, "Didn't just decide out of the blue that you were going to attack me. Do you remember making that choice? just yes or no, do you remember making that choice?"

He shakes his head. He remembers yelling at himself. Fighting, screaming, desperate to stop it.

"Yes, Yuya it was your hands hitting me, your teeth biting me, your body on top of me." Yuzu shivers. She doesn't like this at all, but she has to tell him the whole truth. "Trust me, I struggled with that for a long time."

He looks at her, his eyes filled with so much guilt. So much anguish. Yuya drops his head.

"But I knew better." Yuzu continues. "I knew right after it happened that it was never you doing any of that. Your first words after coming too was asking if you'd hurt anyone. You were so scared, Yuya. So worried that you'd done something."

He takes his pen back.

 _And it looks like I was right to be. I still don't know what this is, but I know it's capable of hurting people. I'm dangerous, Yuzu._

"I don't ever want you to say that again." Yuzu warns him, her tone threatening. "Don't you compare yourself to some lowlife who would hurt the people close to him. People like that enjoy causing pain, like those monsters that attacked you and Ayu. Don't do that to yourself, Yuya. You're not like that. You're kind, and loving, and fun. You make everyone smile, remember?" She cups her hand under his jaw to hold his head up. "You make me feel lucky to know you. I'm glad you're my friend Sakaki Yuya."

 _I wish I didn't have to find out like this._

"Yuya, you try thinking of a way to have this kind of conversation. To be honest, I never wanted you to find out for this reason. You're beating yourself up over this and I never wanted that."

 _You should have told me anyway._

"Maybe one day I might have found courage to say something. But this is still a time for healing- and not just for me- for both of us."

 _I believe you._ He writes. _It wasn't me…_

"I'm glad you're seeing it my way." Yuzu smiles. "I've told you a million times that I'm always right."

 _I never said that._

"Yuya." She notices his expression hasn't changed, and his lips have remained pressed together. "Can you smile for me?"

He shakes his head.

"Can you really not talk?

Another shake of his head.

 _I feel sick whenever I try to open my mouth._ Yuya writes. He looks embarrassed and ashamed. The broken boy in front of her is what's left of the old Yuya. She wants to cry for him. She wants to take all his pain away. Yuya of all people deserves to be happy.

"Look at me, Yuya."

Sad and dull red eyes look into hers.

"You're going to be okay."

He just drops his head again.

"No, come on. Eyes up here." Yuzu places a gentle finger under his chin.

"Do you believe me?"

The young boy shrugs and looks like he's trying not to cry again. He lets his overgrown green bangs fall in front of his face and cover his eyes. Because of everything that's happened, Yuya has let himself fall to pieces. He doesn't know or feel like this can change, and he can't even try to stay hopeful about it.

"We can't leave here until you somehow convey to me that you know you're going to be alright." Yuzu places her hand back on his shoulder.

Yuya shakes his head. He can't. He's at the lowest point in his life. Even something like that will take more time than Yuzu is giving him.

 _I want to believe that one day, things might change. But I…_

He stops writing for a moment.

 _I need some time to accept everything that's happened. Don't forget, I was attacked too. It's not the only reason I'm like this now, but it's definitely playing a role._ He confesses.

"I just want to know that the boy who helped us all remember to duel with smiles and make others happy will be able to feel some of that happiness again."

 _One day._

 _I hope so…_

"We'll start small, okay? For starters, let's get you home. Your mother is worried."

 _I know._

The tears finally fall and hit the notebook page.

 _I've caused her so much trouble. She should hate me for what I've done._

He's crying so hard she can hear him as he tries to catch his breath.

"Yuya." Yuzu has to keep it together, no matter how much she wants to cry for him. She gently places her hands on his cold and sunken cheeks.

"Don't you think that for a split second." Yuzu starts. "Your mother loves you more than anything in this world. Where do you think you learned to care for people?" She smiles at him, hoping that she can ease his suffering.

"She is the strongest woman I've ever met. It's because of her that I even came out of my room after I was hurt."

 _I made Kaasan cry. I've never seen her cry before._

"She was worried about you, Yuya. When someone you love is suffering, it can hurt your heart. I know you know how that feels. It doesn't mean that you start to hate the person. It just means that you wish even more that they could heal. That their pain could be taken away."

Yuzu wipes his tears. "She will never stop loving you." She kisses his cheek. "And neither will I." She kisses his other cheek and smiles at him. Yuya looks down to hide his sudden blush.

"Let's get going." Yuzu stands and dusts the sand off her legs, then extends a hand to her best friend.

Yuya nods and closes his notebook, taking Yuzu's hand and slowly gets to his feet. He's dizzy when he stands but Yuzu helps keep him steady.

One day. It's the closest thing he has to hope right now.

One day, he'll smile again.

One day he'll speak again.

One day.

* * *

And That's All Folks! Thank you so much to everyone who stuck with this since the very beginning. This was my first fanfic that I decided to publish and I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be as successful as it turned out to be. You guys have been amazing and I've really enjoyed your comments and questions. I really loved how invested some of you were in this story. It made me feel like I like my work had purpose. Thank you so much for reading _Darkness Does Not Become Him_.

...

I'm messing with you guys, this isn't over just yet. There's an epilogue coming! See you next week!


	15. Epilogue

I cannot believe it. This is it, guys. This is the final chapter of the story. Enjoy and thank you all so much!

* * *

"You ready to go?" Yuzu packs the last of her books away and hoists her bag on to her back.

Yuya nods and grabs his own bag.

"Let's hurry, we don't want Obaasan waiting too long."

They leave the library and quickly make their way back to Yuya's to meet his mother.

"Tadaima." Yuzu announces when they get to Yuya's house.

"Welcome home!" Yoko shouts from the kitchen. "How was studying today? Did you guys make a lot of progress?"

They join Yoko in the kitchen.

"Yeah actually, we covered a lot of the math today." Yuzu takes a seat on one of the stools by the counter and Yuya follows suit.

"Yuya, how was your day today?" Yoko stops what's she's doing and focuses on her son across the counter.

He nods with a slight smile.

"Can you tell me how your day was?" Yoko says quietly.

Yuya looks down and takes three deep breaths.

"T-today today was… f-fine." He mumbles.

Since he's started talking again, Yuya has developed a slight stutter. He's so embarrassed by it that sometimes even when he can talk he'll choose not to.

"What did you focus on today in your studies?"

Yoko knows Yuzu pretty much answered all of these questions, but Hachiro Kun has told them that keeping him stimulated in conversation is great practice. Yuya shakes his head. He just doesn't feel up to this right now.

"It's okay, sweetheart."

He tries to speak but is frustrated when no words leave his mouth.

"Try again, my love."

"Geo-geometry. Mmm-more more stuff… About circles." That's it. He's done. He shakes his head and looks at his mom once more with pleading eyes.

He brings up both hands for Yoko to see and starts to sign.

"No more, Kaasan."

He was taught Japanese Sign language at the advice of his therapist. He hasn't completely mastered it, but can still communicate pretty well. Yuya has to learn how to feel comfortable using his own voice again. Something like that takes time and patience. Until then, he uses JSL to talk to his mother, who grew up with a deaf friend and already knew it. Yuzu is still in the beginning stages of the learning process, but she's always understood him whether or not words were used.

"You did a great job, Yuya. I love hearing you talk to me." Yoko smiles at him.

"I don't." He signs with a pout.

Yoko just resumes her previous task.

"I was baking cookies for Hachiro, do you all want the extra dough?"

"Do you have to ask?!" Yuzu hops down from the stool. "Yuya? Want some?"

He shakes his head, signing slowly so Yuzu can understand. "Not hungry for sugar."

His appetite has improved tremendously, but he still has so far to go. He went from nothing but protein shakes to a few bites of food a day to partially finishing a meal to a single meal a day. As of now, Yuya only eats about twice a day- on a very good day. He's regained some of his lost weight but he's still noticeably thin.

"What did you have for lunch today?" Yoko takes her last batch out of the oven.

Yuzu looks at Yuya to see if he'll respond. He doesn't. He just looks down, appearing ashamed.

"Yuya wasn't feeling too well today. I got him to eat some but not a lot of what I had brought."

Yoko knows she can't be too hard on him. He makes a great effort every day and she can't fault him when he has somewhat of an off day.

Having had her fill of delicious cookie dough, Yuzu sets the mixing bowl in the sink and rinses it. She joins Yuya behind the counter and reclaims her seat.

"Today was a good day." Yuzu playfully pokes her best friend. "But not a great day, don't you think?"

Yuya nods in agreement. He has his highs and lows and today was somewhere in the middle. Yoko turns around and faces her son once again.

"I still feel good, Kaasan." He signs.

"I know. I just want to look at you." Yoko has nothing but love in her eyes.

"Let's go meet Hachiro." She places her cookies in a plastic container.

* * *

"Yuya, did you hit the goal we set last week?"

"I think so." Yuya is most comfortable when around his therapist, Hachiro. It's the only time he doesn't feel embarrassed about the sign language.

"You think or you know?"

"I did."

"Can your mother back you up? Yoko San?" Hachiro turns his attention to Yoko.

"He did. Monday he ate a full meal- and we had a conversation with no sign language." Yoko vouches for her son, but she doesn't look too happy.

"Double whammy! Yuya, that's fantastic! How did you feel about that?" Hachiro inquires.

No answer.

"Yuya?"

"I felt good during dinner, but not afterwards." Hachiro notices Yuya's hands trembling slightly.

"Why is that?"

"I threw up again."

His bottom lip pokes out in a pout. The frustration is clear. He's tired of getting sick, but no matter what he does, it keeps happening.

"I tried not to. I tried really hard. But I couldn't help it."

"That's perfectly alright. A little bump in the road is nothing to be ashamed of. You still talked without signing and you ate an entire meal. That's an accomplishment." Hachiro points out. "This is going on the success board."

He takes out his Performapal Hippo stickers. "I really love these, by the way."

Hachiro peels one off and places it on his clipboard with Yuya's successes and failure chart. Right now they are probably even, but all of Yuya attempts are listed. Hachiro has almost run out of space in the attempts column.

Yuya never stops trying.

"So, Yuzu, how would you say Yuya has been since our last visit?" She comes to every other meeting with Hachiro at Yuya's insistence. He needs her support.

Yuzu thinks on it for a second.

"He's smiling more." She says quietly. "And he just put his pendant back on."

Yuzu remembered when she noticed him without it. He told her- or wrote to her- that he wasn't going to wear it until he felt like he could duel again.

"Is that so? Yuya, you ready to get back to those action fields?" Hachiro asks.

Yuya smiles and Yoko feels her heart leap almost out of her chest. What a beautiful smile.

"I miss dueling. I don't think I'll go back to you-show just yet, but I told Yuzu that I wanted to start practicing with her." Yuya explains.

"I don't think I'm ready to be around the Juniors yet."He admits.

No one besides Yuzu knows about the Rage. But Yuya hasn't hidden away his fears of losing his temper and hurting someone. He's still very certain that if he's not careful, something terrible will happen, and it will be his fault.

"Even at your very worst, you would never do anything to hurt them, Yuya." Hachiro says to the young boy. "I hope you remember that."

Yuya just looks down. That's what he thought before he found out about what he did to Yuzu.

"I don't trust myself." He keeps his head low, almost hiding his face completely as he signs.

Sad to say he can imagine himself laying hands on them. After Yuzu, he feels like he's capable of hurting anyone who has ever known him. His nightmares haunt him.

Futoshi lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood.

Tatsuya crying while holding ice to his swollen eye.

Ayu cowering in a corner with a bite mark on her neck- exactly like Yuzu's.

All of them say the same thing; "Please, Yuya oniichan. Don't hurt me anymore."

His heart crumbles to pieces at the thought.

"Yuya, stay with us. Open your eyes." He can hear Hachiro's voice. "You're okay."

Yuya didn't realize he'd closed his eyes. He didn't feel the tears on his face.

"Did you hear what Yuzu said?" Hachiro asks.

Yuya shakes his head. Still shaken from his horrific daydream.

"I said that he already knows he wouldn't hurt them. Even at your most vulnerable Yuya, it just couldn't happen. Trust me, somehow I know this for a fact. You would never ever hurt them." Yuzu repeats her statement.

She knows what she's saying isnt a guess. Yuzu has noticed that when it comes to the Juniors, he really does care about them. The only time he would become angry- if ever- would be because they had been threatened or hurt. Yuzu knows that the biggest spot in his heart is reserved for the people he wants to protect. She can admit (proudly) that the juniors take up slightly more space than she does. She holds another part of his heart for safe keeping. The vulnerable and fearful part of him. Yuzu is more than okay with that, for he has her entire heart.

"Do you believe your friend, Yuya?" Hachiro leans forward with a gentle smile.

Yuya nods without hesitation.

"It's alright to be scared. You wouldn't be human without fear. Just remember you're not alone." Hachiro reminds Yuya.

"I know…." Yuya starts. "That's why I want to start dueling with Yuzu again. She reminds me how much I love it… And how much I love being a part of You-Show."

"He'll be back in no time." Yuzu smiles. "Just so you know Yuya, the Juniors just haven't been the same with you gone. They're missing that fun spark you brought to dueling."

 _"_ I'll… _"_ He breathes in… And out before bring his hands back up where everyone can see. _"_ I'm coming back. Soon. _"_

"It's great that you are progressing so well, Yuya." Hachiro says kindly. "I've heard great stories about your dueling, and how happy you always made the audience."

"Dueling makes me happy too." Yuya points out. "It makes me feel good, in here." He places a hand on his chest.

"Does anything else make you happy?"

Yuya nods.

"Tell me more about that, Yuya."

Yuya folds his arms and looks down.

He takes three deeps breaths.

"Kaasan and Yuzu."

He looks up in surprise and covers his mouth. That was... He just spoke aloud.

No stutter. No nausea.

"Kaasan and Yuzu." He says again.

"You… Make me… Smile… Again." He looks to his mother and then to his best friend. Both of them are still trying to pick their jaws up off the ground. Hachiro is smiling from ear to ear. He's so proud of how far Yuya has come.

"Thank you." They haven't heard him speak so clearly since before he and Ayu were attacked.

Yuya still has a ways to go before he feels normal again. Whatever kind of 'normal' that may be, he doesn't know. He can't say that things could ever be like they were before, but he has to believe it can be better. He has made his peace with Yuzu, and their friendship has never been stronger. Now, Yuya must come to terms with the aftermath.

Being attacked and brutally beaten- all while trying to protect someone he cared about- took a huge toll on him. He never thought anything would change. He only saw his life go from bad to worse. When Yuya felt himself falling further and further into darkness, he felt two hands take his own. His best friend and his mother. Without them, Yuya's despair would have been irreversible. He would have gained that bit of willpower necessary to end his life. He still cries every time he thinks about where he'd be without them. Because of these two, Yuya doesn't just think, he _knows_ for a fact that it does get better. Pain is temporary. Love can heal.

Love is what healed Yuzu, and it's what is healing him now.

"Thank you."

* * *

I finished this story a while ago, but was so afraid to publish it until recently. I had never published anything before and I was so scared that my work wasn't good enough. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would get such a positive reaction. I never thought that anyone would even come across this. I took a huge risk and I didn't regret it. You guys have been the most wonderful readers. Your excitement and feedback just gave me so much life. This is the first time since I was a super young child that I've let people read my work. The older I got, the more self-conscious I became. My writing became a secret, and up until the moment I published this fic, it still was. Thank you so much to **Unknowedz,** DB **OP, crisrrana75, and jalen johnson**. I loved how invested you guys were and seeing your reviews made me so happy! Thank you so much. You guys have no idea what this meant to me. Take care!

-Mimi


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